A Routine Affair

Well, you'd expect a bit more of a take-no-prisoners attitude from a self-dubbed band of pirates, wouldn't you? Instead, this group seemed a little less than swashbuckling. Perhaps the Friendly Manatees would be a good name, unless you're describing their incredibly charming treatment of Lastings Milledge, who might as well be a chest of buried treasure under nonstop pillage.

Pardon my kidding about piracy. I watched a segment on Sean Hannity's vanity program on Fox News Channel, Hannity's America (and the nation really is his, you know), where he explained that piracy was still a huge problem affecting our society. So huge, in fact, that I postponed my yearly sailing voyages to Indonesia and Somalia out of fear.

I'm proud of Glavine's 299th, but he's been absolutely awful since about mid-May this year. I too noticed that stat on SNY showing Glavine's 4 no-decisions in 5 seasons while with the Mets after being staked to 6-run leads, compared to 1 in sixteen seasons with Atlanta. He's been struggling so much lately, it wouldn't be a stretch to compare him to another of the worst pitchers in my Mets memory: himself two seasons ago.

Glavine appears to be out of tricks hidden up his sleeve, as evidenced by his barely quality start tonight: six innings, eight hits, three walks, 113 pitches (47 balls, 66 strikes), and only two strikeouts. He feasts on the naivete of young hitters, and this Pirates lineup is filled with 'em, not to mention the fact that they're second to last in the major leagues in runs scored, third to last in OPS, third to last in total bases, and last in on-base percentage. A real murderer's row they have there.

While the Mets notched a win in a fashion that has become surprisingly routine during this hot streak, with early scoring and Lastings Milledge swaggering his way to victory, Tom Glavine's shoddy showings have become equally numerable. Sorry, Tommy, but maybe you might be better suited going out on a high note. If he has a lead after five innings next start, it might be advisable for him to just run off the field, à la Victor Zambrano. Who knows, maybe the Braves will pick him up.

It might be rather meaningful when analyzing Glavine's season to discuss what transpired this offseason, when the lefty desired to return to Atlanta and instead re-signed with New York after the Bravos were reportedly unwilling to put his name on a check.

Did the Braves have the right idea in opting not to pony up for a starter whose better days are behind him? Only time shall tell, but to my knowledge the Mets are on the hook for next year should Glavine pitch 160 innings. He retains an opt-out clause should that option become guaranteed.

For a pitcher who has lost the mystique and fastball that guided him through his best years with Atlanta, one must only hope for continued strong run support on the offense's part and perhaps better command from Tommy.

A prediction? Moises Alou injured his shoulder while punching Jose Valentin when their paths crossed at the orthopedist's office. Carlos Beltran injured his abdominal muscles while attempting to punch off his own mole (left).

Lastings Milledge looked alright in centerfield tonight, though one certainly does not hope that Anderson and Green will be starting in the corners everyday. Maybe Ben Johnson and his .185 average are worth another look. What's Shane Spencer doing these days? Hey, Eric Valent hit a whopping .209/.284/.256 for the Portland Sea Dogs. I hear he could really use a major league job to lift his spirits.

I know Green had a good night, and that Anderson's looked good since joining the Mets, and Milledge is probably a future star, but can the Mets really do no better than two thirtysomething lefthanded hitters with no defensive range and weak arms against a nasty lefthanded starter? We hear Beltran's day-to-day, but for him that usually means a ten-day absence and a subsequent period of total ineffectiveness.

Seriously, the guy can get back in the lineup after a gut-wrenching collision of faces at high speed in the outfield, but he has a little muscular pain and he's suddenly Jeff Duncan at the plate, if he even bothers to play.

Who taught Beltran how to become an ironman and win the hearts of Mets fans? Carl Everett? Just kidding, Carl. I referenced Sean Hannity in the post, so it's just as though I'm with you on the dinosaur thing.

It was nice to see Damion Easley back in the lineup and even nicer to see a game without any major defensive blunders at second base. I like Gotay a lot, but I can understand how the Royals gave up on him for Jeff Keppinger.

Just a quick note: at the price of Ty Wigginton and prospects Matt Peterson (who spent most of this year at AA for Pittsburgh, despite being at the same level four years ago with the Mets and being way too old for it now, and still hasn't surfaced on the big league roster of an awful team) and Justin Huber (who is hitting .243 for the Royals' AAA affiliate, stuck behind former Met folk hero Craig Brazell and his 25 long balls on the depth chart), the Mets netted Gotay, John Maine, and El Duque. Too bad we had to suffer through a year and a half of Kris and Anna to complete that deal.

Tomorrow's a bright and early start, 12:10 p.m. It's swell for the kids in summer camp, not so much for the unemployed alcoholic set. See you then.

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Off-Day Blues

It is a little disconcerting around here, in Metland. Sure, the team just won an incredible game against the Dodgers, taking three of four against some of the NL's steepest competition, but something just doesn't feel right.

Sure, they put a little distance on the Braves and Phillies in the process, but something just doesn't feel right. Some of the most moribund components of the Mets' offensive attack were revived, call it the HoJo Effect, but something just isn't right about this team.

Maybe it's the fact that Chip Ambres, Sandy Alomar, Jr. and Anderson Hernandez are on this team with a week and change until the trading deadline and no hope on the horizon. Maybe it's that the Mets are likely going to rely on an increasingly out-of-gas Glavine, a noble but still injured Sosa, an injury-prone Duque, and youngsters Maine and Perez to shepherd this starting rotation through the season. The rotation is (allegedly) a key strength.

It could be the bullpen's struggles, which have resumed to haunt it after an incredible stretch prior to this road trip. Willie has two relievers who are to be counted upon in close games, and they're both lefties. Joe Smith isn't showing any of that magic we grew to love earlier this season, Aaron Heilman is liable to blow the game at any turn, Guillermo Mota still has a 5.53 ERA, and Aaron Sele, while not exactly disappointing, has made us lust for the 2006 Darren Oliver.

Thankfully, the Mets are outperforming their Pythagorean record by three games. Coincidentally, perhaps, the Mets narrowly retain a lead of three and a half against Atlanta, inexplicably swept by Cincinnati earlier this week, despite almost identical Pythagorean records.

I can't help but worry about this team, whether or not Pythagoras intended for that. You can still look at the lineup and find non-contributors in Shawn Green and whoever is slumping with him. Recently, we have seen Jose Reyes in near-freefall, Paul Lo Duca redefining useless, and the now-injured Jose Valentin showing nothing near last year's performance.

This all makes us wonder: how on earth did this year's club, with ostensibly similar roster construction, manage to underperform so much compared to the magic of 2006? Was it really the departure of Chad Bradford? Was it Cliff Floyd? Eli Marerro? X-Man? Sancho?

It's hard to say, but the Mets this week will attempt to embark on a new phase of the season. Moises Alou has parted the Atlantic and returned to action, as he is slated to join the Mets tomorrow. It's reasonable to assume there shall be platoons abounding in the corner outfield positions, with Firstings supplanting Green and Marlon Anderson spelling the fragile Moises.

When Damion Easley, who receives the deepest condolences from this space, returns sometime this week or next, he, Anderson, and Ruben Gotay will form a triumverate at second base with Jose Valentin absent for the forseeable future.

The pitching staff will remain relatively unchanged this week, but the Mets are undoubtedly looking to acquire relief pitching at the deadline, and the farm system is quite deep. Perhaps the Mets will pick up the righty setup man of their dreams. And speaking of righty setup men, Duaner Sanchez is a candidate to make an appearance sometime next month, according to his agent, Bean Stringfellow, seemingly a Monty Python character. Have we forgotten Pedro, too, the key rotation cog from last year's club who has been nothing more than an urban legend in 2007?

Relish the future for the Mets. The adversity is slowing, but with seven at home prior to the deadline against the Pirates and Nationals, is a clean sweep too much to ask for? I think not.

------------------

A few quick notes:

• I'm not sure if I have expounded on ESPN's organized takedown of the National Hockey League in this space, but others certainly have. I think that blog has someone reading my mind.
  
  Anyhow, isn't it odd that ESPN's golden boy, David Beckham, who received hours upon hours of his own programming on the Worldwide Leader despite minimal playing time in his first contest, referred in his inaugural press conference to "the three big sports in America?"
  
  Perhaps you should consider sharing some of your time with hockey while savoring the fixing of games by an NBA ref, the seizure of a hallowed record by a misanthropic felon drug abuser in baseball, and the ritualistic electrocution of dogs raised to fight by an NFL superstar.

• I am slightly ashamed to admit that various Harry Potter 7-related experiences kept me from posting this weekend (read: consuming the entire book in a day, and then suffering the requisite headaches), but I would love the opportunity to discuss my displeasure with the series' ending, which I will not reveal in this space. As always, I can be reached by email or in the comments section.

• If the weather would deign itself to cooperate, I will be attending Thursday's Mets-Pirates contest. I will be the one unendingly whooping and cheering for Xavier Nady. Regrettably, it seems like there are few fan clubs I can join to channel this adoration of the X-Man. Oh, well.

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A Wild Ride

Well, after that first inning, I made an immediate move to clear my schedule for Wednesday night's game against the Pirates: Tom Glavine would be gunning for 300 wins. Eh, not so much.

I'm not sure that I have all that much complaining to do about tonight's game, after Ramon Castro got the start and proved why he should be an everyday player, after the slumping Beltran and the suddenly resurgent Delgado contributed jacks to the effort, and after Aaron Sele "Posturepedic" (No, Berman, you can't have that one!) managed somehow to contain a club that blew away a great on the cusp of 300.

I guess I now have to agree with the so-called baseball traditionalists who whine about pitchers not going deep into games anymore: tonight's two starters, Derek Lowe and Tom Glavine, have 12 All-Star appearances, 2 Cy Young Awards, and one no-hitter between them, and they combined to throw five innings. Five innings between them! It would have been a short start for just one of them, although perhaps a marathon effort for Greg Maddux.

Apparently Marlon Anderson is back on this team. Fair enough. He looked decent in left field, making a nice sliding catch in the ninth when Guillermo Mota was somehow struggling to hang on to a big lead. Perhaps he could give Shawn Green some pointers, who continued to look marginal at best out there, despite a laser rocket arm-type throw to nail our good friend Jeff Kent at third base.

On an aside, did anyone watch that game and not have to vomit in between innings. I'm not exactly a master cinematographer, but what was going on with the SNY crew? They seemed to miss shots, pan to the wrong parts of the field, and just generally provide a weak showing. Perhaps Billy Walsh is available to take over for Bill Webb.

Also re: SNY, has anyone noticed that the score bar keeps changing. Tonight's FSN-type graphic was the third different one employed by the Mets this season on SNY alone. If I had my way, there would be a separate channel just showing a live feed of the scoreboard at the ballpark. Saves the problem of digital snafus, and, at home, you can catch the "Professor Reyes" segments if the Mets are getting pounded.

Anyway, I guess, what with the game being in LA and all, there are celebrities present, some of whom are adorned with Mets paraphernalia. Note two-time Best Actress Oscar winner Hilary Swank on your left. However, Hilary probably has some other types of paraphernalia lying around her house, courtesy of ex-hubby Chad Lowe, if you believe her side of the story regarding her recent divorce.

All in all, I'm not sure if there is any way to describe this game besides surreal. There were some encouraging signs, but the performance from Tom Glavine made it appear as though he has very little in the tank. He was nasty against Cincy last week, to be sure, but Glavine's low strike percentage obviously has contributed to this season, where he has witnessed some of the worst outings of his career. 300 is nice, when it happens, but we need Glavine to be Glavine again. Perhaps getting the milestone monkey off his back will help.

First pitch is at 10:40 p.m. tomorrow, Ollie vs. Brett Tomko. If tonight's matchup was any indication of these games' potential length, you might want to go with the double espresso.

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Some Grades

Perhaps it has become clichéd to award somewhat arbitrary marks to members of this club at midseason, but just because something has been done far too often and by those more capable than myself doesn't mean that I won't make a futile attempt at it. I have reels and reels of film of my attempts to remake Air Bud with a duck. Unfortunately, YouTube's policy against explicit content makes it impossible to host them on the net.

Anyway, onward and upward:

YOUR STARTERS

C Paul Lo Duca: C

• This just in: the Duck has refused to discuss this grade with anyone who has ever set foot in New York State. Perhaps he had his money on a solid B. While he had an incredibly hot month of May, the Duck has slowed down somewhat and appears to be just your average catcher, though he's not hitting for any power. His .274/.321/.372 line is a disappointment compared to last year's, and he appears to have entered the same downward spiral that besets any 35 year-old catcher. His ten doubles to this point show a decrease from last year's 39, as we are more than halfway through the season. He won't be back next year, despite the slim pickings on the free agent market. Boy, I really do miss Jesus Flores.

1B Carlos Delgado: F+

• Carlos, I'm awfully sorry about this. You seem like a pretty nice guy, so I might otherwise be inclined to give you a semi-positive mark. But you have to get on base more often than your dreadful .305 OBP clip. Your career average is .386. Your slugging percentage is equally bad, compared to your previous numbers: a .435, compared to last year's .548 and your career .551. The doubles numbers are nice, but for someone who also lumbers around in the field at a position where offense is required, we might ask for a hint more. Thankfully, we have a nice capable backup in Julio Franco who can slide into the lineup in the second half. Groan.

2B Jose Valentin: D-

• We were all pretty impressed with what Valentin did last year, replacing the ineffective Kaz Matsui/Anderson Hernandez duo at second base when we had given him up for dead after his atrocious pinch-hitting. He hit for solid power, played very well defensively, and hit for an average better than his career clip. Perhaps the real JoVal caught up with him in the playoffs, as the pixie dust emanating from his magic mustache ran out when he failed to drive in anyone in Game 7. This season, Valentin hasn't done much of anything for anyone, playing defense with zero-range courtesy of a knee brace. He sustained something of a freak injury earlier this year, and we all would have understood if he had bowed out and retired or taken time to get surgery. Instead, he came back and displaced Damion Easley, the only Met hitting for much power in April/May, and has posted this season a wretched .243/.297/.388 in 164 plate appearances. Other scribes have mentioned the fact that Valentin has an option for next year which vests at 400 PA, possibly forcing Willie's hand. Whether Valentin is being selfish or courageous, we can glean that he is a far cry from the player that surprised us all last year.

3B David Wright: B+

• The Great Wright Hope has turned his season around after a powerless April where we quickly placed blame on the Home Run Derby and worried about that massive contract extension on the Mets' books. Although he may not be exactly where he was last year (SLG down from .531 in '06 to .506 in '07), he has been walking more and stealing more bases alongside improving defense and resurgent home run power. In the end, his numbers will be right around where they were last year, and, after all, he's just 24.

SS Jose Reyes: A-

• Regardless of whatever idiots like John Kruk might say, Reyes is the best shortstop in the National League, which is high praise given competition like Hanley Ramirez, Jimmy Rollins, Edgar Renteria, and J.J. Hardy. Ramirez might be superior offensively to Reyes, whose power is down from last year, but Jose has nearly everyone in baseball beat with his glove and his arm. Despite the aforementioned drop in power (after all, he hit 19 homers last season), Reyes' OPS+ is up, thanks to an incredible increase in walks. That is partially due to the fact that teams now intentionally walk Reyes often, but he is no longer the free-swinging player whose most valuable aspect was "excitement" or something. The recent situation with Willie appears to have blown over, and Reyes appears to be firmly entrenched on that depth chart. I might add that Reyes is still extremely young, and that, with time, perhaps he can homer, steal, walk, triple, and field with total proficiency, all in the same season.

RF Shawn Green: C-

• It's been something of a peculiar season for Green, who seems to be the least noticeable member of this team. He is quiet, rather average offensively, and often batting towards the bottom of the lineup. Maybe, though, quiet refers best to his bat since returning from the disabled list in early June. Green has hit barely above the Mendoza Line in that span, and save for a few notable games, hasn't anything power-related to his credit. His defense has been barely average, courtesy of a noodle arm and no range. Granted, the Mets didn't expect him to be a forty-homer player like he was in Los Angeles and Toronto, but a little bit more might be expected for the salary unloaded on him. Is it excessively optimistic for me to see a Gomez/Beltran/Milledge outfield next year? Maybe, but Green will be a platoon player elsewhere when he departs the Mets after this season.

CF Carlos Beltran: C+

• I like Beltran as a player, and what he did last year was amazing. The 2007 Beltran, though, has contained quite a bit more of the 2005 Beltran than we might have liked. All of his stats are down compared to '07, as we might have expected, but a 48-point decrease in OBP (.388 to .340) stinks. Perhaps that is especially evocative of his struggles as a hitter, since one who isn't seeing the ball well is probably going to walk less and hit less. With Beltran, though, one has to wonder why he seems to be dogged by some nagging injury each and every year. And unlike other players, who manage some sort of offensive effectiveness despite an injury, Beltran seems to lose it all when he wakes up with a little tweak in his quad. That being said, he has shown some signs of resuming production of late. But how many seasons of average baseball are we going to wind up with over the life of this contract due to a little pulled hamstring, strained quad, or whatever it may be? He's making an AAV of $17 million, and one would hope that he'd be outproducing Curtis Granderson. Not so much.

LF Moises Alou: INCOMPLETE

• It's tough to give any other grade to Moises, who has missed since forever with an injury that didn't initially appear to be all that severe. He was a constant for April and about half of May, but Endy Chavez (another injury case) and Carlos Gomez (ditto) have amassed almost identical numbers of plate appearances as Alou. We all knew that Moises would miss some time with injuries, but nobody apprised me of his insatiable desire to hang out at home during the baseball season. While he was on the field, he produced a decent .318/.374/.445 line that was somewhat short on the power. He also hit into a ton of double plays, for whatever that's worth. It would be nice to have him back healthy, but wherever Moises goes, he has to be followed by a capable sub. Count on a retirement or a minor-league deal with another club in 2008.

=====================

pitchers/bench tomorrow!

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Trouble in Paradise?

Scratch everything I wrote last night, I think.

Tonight's Mets were entirely different, despite an ostensibly similar lineup on the field. What, you may ask, was the cause for that?

Well, first of all, "Magic" Wandy pitched like a sprig of holly with a core of phoenix feather, purchased at Ollivander's. [ED NOTE: Does a Harry Potter reference, albeit an obscure one, qualify as a new low for this space? Yes, yes it does.]

[ED NOTE: I write and edit (and read, while sobbing uncontrollably) these posts all by myself; I had hoped you, the reader, would enjoy this interplay in my tormented mind. Perhaps not. I'll return you to your regularly scheduled blogging.]

The Mets have been shut out three times this year. The first was at home, at the hands of Barry Zito, who undoubtedly wanted to prove to Mets management what they were missing when they passed on his ridiculous price tag. Another came against Johan Santana, whose agents are reportedly looking for $25 million per season over a long-term deal when he enters free agency after the 2008 season.

Each of those pitchers has at least one Cy Young award and a winning percentage above .600 for their career (Santana's is above .700). They're extremely well-regarded among their contemporaries.

Enter Wandy Rodriguez, of the 24-27 career record with a 5.23 ERA to boot, who dazzled against the Metsies in a near-surreal evening. Rodriguez only allowed four hits over the complete game, putting to shame another improved effort from youngster Mike Pelfrey, who regrettably drops to 0-7.

The Mets' shutout, though, was their third against a lefthanded pitcher. As Marty Noble notes at MLB.com's wrapup of the game, the Mets haven't been hitting lefties like they used to since Xavier Nady's departure, and, I might add, since Moises Alou hit the DL.

But regarding that Nady trade, you might have read similar sentiments in this space last August and again later that month. I really liked Nady as a hitter, though his defense in right was questionable at best. The X-Man, who has a .292/.343/.509 line in the City of Brotherly Steel this season, would have fit in very well on this team, though it would have meant no Oliver Perez. Take your pick.

The Mets stunk against lefties last year, and were routinely mastered by luminaries like Hong-Chih Kuo and Eric Stults. This year, the Mets have fared better OPS-wise against lefties than against righties, but a recent swoon versus southpaws and these three shutouts might argue otherwise.

Being shut out by Wandy Rodriguez wasn't the biggest problem, tonight, as the Mets are awfully depleted without Duck and Alou and with Green and Delgado essentially useless on most evenings. You might have hoped for David Wright to do something, as well, but home plate umpire Larry Vanover called the game as would a man with one hell of a dinner reservation.

The big question for tonight was Jose Reyes. Over the years, Reyes has brought enthusiasm to the team and has been something of an outgoing and charismatic individual. Remember in 2005 when he would dance with Doug Mientkiewicz? Poor Jose.

But he didn't seem to care much tonight. With the Mets down by four in the eighth, Reyes hit a ball down the third base line, which had all the traits of a ball that wasn't going to stay fair. He jogged a little, but was blind-sided when Mike Lamb picked up the ball and nearly ran it all the way to Lance Berkman at first base.

Reyes didn't run. For a player who makes a living on having legs in constant motion, the shortstop didn't plan on straying too far from home plate tonight.

So what? We've seen times where Beltran hasn't run, even times when the infallible Julio Franco (who must have incriminating pictures of Omar Minaya) hasn't. And what? Nothing usually comes of them, though sometimes the lazy are lampooned in the press.

When Mets infielders spend time with sunglasses upside down atop the bills of their caps, nothing comes of it. It's vanity, not baseball. Occasionally, they'll lose a ball in the sky, but at least they look really bad-ass doing it.

But Reyes apparently didn't explain that he didn't want to be caught hustling to Willie Randolph, who pulled the sparkplug from the game in favor of Ruben Gotay, who is probably best described as that revenge hookup for Willie Randolph. He's obviously not a better shortstop than Jose Reyes, but it made the All-Star seethe in the dugout.

Jealous of Ruben Gotay's playing time? Who are you, Esteban German?

Only time (and, perhaps, tomorrow's lineups) will tell whether a conflict has truly developed between Reyes and the skipper. The two hardly embraced after David Wright was caught trying to advance on a pitch in the dirt to end the game.

The team has, in recent days, shown something of an aloofness on the field, with the exception of Paul Lo Duca and his "Die Hard and Like It" at bat against Colorado. One hopes Reyes, who has looked a little unfocused in the field of late, will be able to set a positive example for other players with a newfound hustle and love for the game in these last two contests before the break.

If not? Perhaps Reyes becomes more like Rafael Furcal. I don't want to go there.

------------------

Tidbits:

-I'm trying to develop a coherent way to phrase my thoughts and feelings about Dodgers GM Ned Colletti. Admittedly, it's something of a non sequitur, but he has done atrocious things with the personnel in LA and has won only on account of the talent developed by ex-GM Paul DePodesta and farm director Logan White. That post ought to be up sometime next week.

-As I write this, the Braves have defeated the Padres and the Phillies and Rockies are engaged in an extra-inning duel. Ground, unfortunately, must be gained by someone.

-I won't voice my thoughts on global warming (or Al Gore) in this space, but I'm pretty excited about Live Earth tomorrow, mostly because I get to see a few of my faves on stage, all the while blacking out the drivel emerging from their mouths. With hours upon hours of music, you might want to borrow some amphetamines from your good friend Tigers SS Neifi Perez. With a 25-game suspension, he probably won't be needing them anymore. [ED NOTE: Way to go! You could have very easily made a reference to Hermione Granger's time-turner from the Harry Potter series that allowed her to take all those classes. You really have made it in this biz!]

In addition, remind me to make this blog carbon-neutral by December.

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Straightened Out

Well, not really. I'd like to think the sorry excuse for baseball performed by your Metropolitans has ended, as of 10:54 PM EDT on this Thursday, but tonight didn't really show everything you'd like to see from the Mets.

However, John "Snubbed with a Vengeance" Maine took it to Houston tonight, showing his nastiest stuff as the Mets defeated the 'Stros 5-2, with the unlikely ace notching a career-high nine strikeouts and only two runs allowed in seven and two thirds sparkling innings of work.

He didn't really have much to straighten out, as he took no part in the Mets' four-game skid, and won resoundingly in his last start.

But Carlos Delgado did. Ramon Castro needed to step up, with Paul lo Duca finally dropping his appeal after the promotion of Sandy Alomar, Jr. to the big club. The pair combined for a whopping seven hits, including two doubles and three RBI.

The Mets made their imprint on that ridiculous malignant tumor in the centerfield of Enron Field (I assume you know the story of that ballpark's checkered past), and pounded nemesis Jason Jennings.

You might have hoped for something more from Joe Smith, who is no longer wondrous and closer to ponderous, or maybe for something more from Carlos Beltran, who was rather ghastly up until a ninth-inning home run into the short porch. I was expecting something more from Mr. Wright, and perhaps a little something more in the field from Mr. Green, but we have tomorrow for that.

In other news, the Carlos Gomez era has been put on hiatus for six to eight weeks, and it's now safe to wear your NEWHAN 17 jerseys back to the ballpark, for the utility man who embraced the Mendoza line has replaced our dearly departed speed demon.

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Talkin' Pitchin' With Aarin' Heilmin'

Cue lights.
HEILMAN
Today, kids, we're going to learn about pitching. You can learn from me, and my good friends Mike Pelfrey, Scott Schoeneweis, and Rick Peterson. Here, at Talkin' Pitchin', having fun comes first, keeping the Mets in ballgames comes second!

I'm first going to answer some viewer questions.

Sal from Brooklyn wants to know: "Aaron, what is your key pitch?"

Well, Sal, my favorite pitch is the hanging changeup. I enjoy giving up home runs and scowling, and throwing the hanging changeup, especially to lefthanded hitters, makes it awfully easy to erode a lead in the late innings.

John from Staten Island writes in: "Aaron, how have you managed to earn six wins on the season, despite a VORP of only 2.6?"

John, thanks for the question. I learned the key skill of luck through communication with my good friend Joe Carter, formerly of the Toronto Blue Jays. He would consistently drive in 100 runs, while hitting barely over .250, not walking, and sustaining his reputation on an especially clutch moment in the World Series.

You all can remember my great playoff successes, right? Remember a little duel I had with Yadier Molina? Exactly. So part of my ability to win is based on my impeccable postseason record.

Brady from Cleveland wonders: "What is the outlook for Notre Dame football this year?"

Well, Brady, even with Jesus and Charlie Weis on our side, I'm not sure the season is shaping up too great. Prep QB Jimmy Clausen underwent a little arm surgery, and I'm not sure the offense can withstand the departures of Jeff Samardzija, Rhema McKnight, and Darius Walker.

I've heard they're planning on facing some tough teams like the Coast Guard, Merchant Marines, and the TSA training program because the other service academies aren't difficult enough.

Okay, so now we're going to learn this week's new pitch. This one is a real favorite of mine. Victor Zambrano taught it to me, and starting a sentence like that automatically makes you a legitimate pitcher. I call it the changeup-in-the-dirt. How do you think I've managed 15 hit-by-pitches and 13 wild pitches in my short big league career?

So, you assume the normal changeup grip, with four fingers over the ball. Then, in an important count where you can't really afford to throw balls, you proceed to throw the pitch towards the ground, preferably way inside or way outside. Don't be afraid to bounce it to home plate, but take heed: it is of the utmost importance that you don't confuse this pitch with my hanging changeup, which I taught you last week.

With that pitch, you assume the changeup grip, and throw it down the middle or on the inside half of the plate to a lefthanded hitter. Guaranteed to provide fan-pleasing fireworks at all times, especially in opposing ballparks. Take a look at my home run rate: it's no coincidence that it's higher than those of all other Mets pitchers except my next guest, Scott Schoeneweis, and I intend to change that.

Speaking of which, Scott is joining us in studio now. Thanks, Scott, for comin' on Talkin' Pitchin' With Aarin' Heilmin'.

SCHOENEWEIS
No problem, Aaron. I always would love to help out a fellow useless reliever.

HEILMAN
Well, about that, Scott, I was a little upset when I noticed that you hadn't given up an earned run on the road all season. I understand there are small sample sizes and all, but I was a little disappointed in your road splits for the season.

SCHOENEWEIS
I can understand that, buddy. I can try to give up long home runs, but somehow the opponents just can't touch my meatballs on the road. But I mean, look at you, you did manage to strike out the side today.

HEILMAN
Don't you dare try and trick the fan base. I allowed two runs in that inning, and by all accounts I should have given up even more.

SCHOENEWEIS
Fair enough.

HEILMAN
And, to wit, I have managed to allow all those runs in a very short career. I was a first-round draft pick, and I have had the fan base turn on me several times. Remember 2005? Of course you don't, but I was nasty. Mets fans were even insisting that I replace Braden Looper as closer. Thank God those times are over.

SCHOENEWEIS
Didn't you want to be a starter at one point?

HEILMAN
I'll handle the questions here.

(awkward pause)

HEILMAN
So, Scott, do you have any questions for me?

SCHOENEWEIS
Aaron, I was just wondering about those days when you wanted to be a starter.

HEILMAN
Well, ah yes. I still do want to be a starter, though the Mets seem to believe that failing in the bullpen doesn't seem to make me a better candidate for the rotation. I might add that I was sterling in the rotation in 2005, and although I have had bumpy times in my career as a starter, the Mets' campaign of hate against me is totally ridiculous.

SCHOENEWEIS
I've been a starter before, and I'm not sure it's all that much better. Also, Aaron, I'm not sure exactly what campaign of hate you are referring to.

HEILMAN
Oh, Scott, I'm not sure you really understand anything. I am great, and you might notice all of the options the Mets have utilized to keep me from entering the rotation: Jose Lima, Jeremi (né Geremi) Gonzalez, Alay Soler, Jason Vargas, Mike Pelfrey, Dave Williams, Steve Trachsel, Oliver Perez, Brian Bannister, Pedro Martinez, Tom Glavine... must I continue?

SCHOENEWEIS
I'm not sure how many of those guys you mentioned have actually pitched for the Mets, but I digress. Aaron, have you not considered the fact that you throw only two pitches, neither of which is exceptional?

HEILMAN
Take a look at Tim Wakefield. He throws only one pitch, and he's probably the most celebrated pitcher in the history of the major leagues. With double the pitches, I will double Tim Wakefield's success: he has 159 career wins, pencil me in for 318.

SCHOENEWEIS
Aaron, I went to Duke, and aside from learning how to run an offense from Coach K, I learned a little thing about logic. That's flawless. I also met some very fine strippers there, though they kept trying to swab me in between dances.

HEILMAN
That's quite enough, Schoeneweis. Win a few games, and we'll talk again, okay? Special thanks to Scott Schoeneweis for appearing on this program, and while I'm on the topic, I would like to note that all guests on Talkin' Pitchin' With Aarin' Heilmin' receive a $5 gift certificate, erm, coupon, to the Olive Garden, and a urinary tract infection. Let's bring in our next guest, Mike Pelfrey, joining us via satellite. Hi, Mike. You're appearing via satellite from New Orleans, as you've just been demoted, correct?

PELFREY
Aaron, I'm backstage. Making the footage a little grainy doesn't make it seem like I'm appearing via satellite.

HEILMAN
Okay, okay, save the criticism for your parents, those who delivered such an incomplete pitcher into this world.

PELFREY
Aaron, you're a dick.

HEILMAN
Dry, acrid wit from you as always, Mike. Tell us a little bit about your methodology on the mound today, managing to allow three runs in five innings to the Phillies with three walks despite not pitching in nine days, bringing your record to 0-6 on the year. I have six wins on the season. Mike?

PELFREY
Well, Paul Lo Duca told me to go out there and just throw, and I managed to --

HEILMAN
Excuse me, Mike, but our good friends at Elias are telling me that in my last start, in 2005, I struck out 7 against the 2006 World Champion St. Louis Cardinals. What are your thoughts on that?

PELFREY
(flips off camera, walks offstage)

HEILMAN
Well, it looks like we're having a few problems with the satellite feed, but I'm sure Mike will be back soon. Then again, maybe he could use a little practice at pitching. Let me remind you, all guests on Talkin' Pitchin' With Aarin' Heilmin' receive five dollars off a meal for four or more at the Olive Garden and a real bitch of a urinary tract infection. At the Olive Garden, when you're here, you're family.

Let's welcome our final guest in-studio, Dr. Rick Peterson, the Mets' CEO of Pitching.

PETERSON
Namaste, young grasshopper.

HEILMAN
So, Rick, do you think you could fix me in ten minutes, huh?

PETERSON
Time represents that which cannot be governed by the heavens, Aaron. We are trapped in this submarine, and doomed to repeat history's mistakes if we shall fail to pitch below thigh-level.

HEILMAN
Yes, definitely. What do you think of my changeup?

PETERSON
Aaron, without your changeup, it would be as though Jimmy Page without hands, Louis Armstrong without a mouth. One cannot make beautiful music without sinking action on the changeup, or essential organs.

HEILMAN
Absolutely. Let me take a second, Rick, to complement you on your fine polyester/nylon-blend jacket there. That is puffy beyond belief; you resemble a man of great stature with it and a Jheri-curl atop your head.

PETERSON
Why thank you, Aaron. But I ought to warn you- there's no chance of you becoming a starter, ever. We have some fine talent coming through this organization, as silk through the roads of China during the time of Marco Polo, and I fear you might have the wrong impressions of your likely fate.

HEILMAN (crying)
Is this really what you think of me, Jacket? I've made all of these sacrifices for you; I gave you my clean sample, and this is how you repay me? How dare you?

PETERSON
Relax, don't do it, when you want to go to it.

HEILMAN (still sniffling)
That's all the time we have, on Talkin' Pitchin'. I would like to thank my middling guests, and I'll be back at work, throwing some games for the Mets, as we continue along this road trip. For all of us here, at the Olive Garden, I'm Aaron Heilman, and I will haunt your excretory system. Good night.

FIN

Just a note: I was disappointed to find that my blog is only the seventh hit if one Googles the phrase "Aaron Heilman stinks". I'm determined to change that.

Crosstown Rivals is sponsored by JustGreatTickets.com, your home for Chicago White Sox Tickets.

In Defense of Steve Phillips and Joe Morgan

Please accept my most sincere apologies for the title of this post, and understand that I have made these two my favorite punching bags in my years of watching Baseball Tonight, an absolutely atrocious program shoved down our throats by the good people at ESPN.

The two mentioned actually bring some sense into the fray, for the first time ever.

Now, tonight's 7 PM show featured discussion of the All-Star selections, something I was looking forward to while seething about the obvious ignorance of John Maine's great season. John Maine is tied for third in the NL in VORP among pitchers. Cole Hamels is nineteenth. Somehow he made it. Hamels ranks behind El Duque, by the way.

Regardez, s'il vous plait: Maine isn't even in the final five left for voting. His stats: 9-4, 2.74 ERA.

The final five:

SP Brandon Webb: 8-5, 3.05 ERA,
SP Roy Oswalt: 7-5, 3.42 ERA.
SP Carlos Zambrano: 9-6, 4.20 ERA.
SP Tom Gorzelanny: 8-4, 3.05 ERA.
SP Chris Young: 8-3, 2.14 ERA.

and, just for kicks,

SP Cole Hamels: 9-4, 3.87 ERA.

This is absolutely disgusting. I try to avoid putting too much stock into these things, but Maine outpitched all of the above but Young as measured by ERA, and he won more (or as many) than all. This is grotesque. Fire Selig.

P.S.: Zambrano's ERA is 4.20. Look at that. Oliver Perez would sooner deserve a spot.

Instead, the idiots on tonight's panel (Eric Young, Steve Phillips, and John Kruk) decided to debate why Jose Reyes made the All-Star team instead of Jimmy Rollins, who sucks, by the way.

Reyes OPS+: 131
Rollins OPS+: 116

Reyes WARP: 4.5
Rollins WARP: 3.9

Listen to our good friends at BT:

KRUK: "You don't go to the All-Star Game to watch a guy [Reyes] hit singles and run. That doesn't happen. Hit a home run."
KARL RAVECH: "You know that's ridiculous."
STEVE PHILLIPS: "Thank you."
KRUK: (incredulous)
RAVECH: You don't want to see Reyes run? Steal?
KRUK: He's not going to. It's the All-Star Game. [ED NOTE: There were two stolen bases from the NL in last year's ASG, and Reyes wasn't even playing.] And Jimmy Rollins can't steal a base?
YOUNG: I like Jose Reyes. I think he's one of the most exciting players in the game, but when we think about performance, who should be the all-star shortstop for the National League, no doubt about it, it should be Jimmy Rollins. Look at the numbers!
PHILLIPS: Come on!
YOUNG: His power, his slugging percentage, it's over .500! Take out the average and the stolen bases. What do you have?
PHILLIPS: You have on-base percentage. There's a 60-point difference between the two.
YOUNG: Ugh.
PHILLIPS: You're playing this game to win! Here's the thing, Jose Reyes has 25 more stolen bases than Rollins, which means those singles become doubles. Jimmy Rollins slugs? When you look at Jose Reyes's OPS, it's better than Jimmy Rollins'! He puts himself in position to score more runs than Jimmy Rollins! Runs scored come from the people behind you in the lineup! He's the most exciting player in the major leagues. And 2.5 million of my closest friends agree.
YOUNG: The Mets' lineup is not good?
PHILLIPS: The Mets' lineup with Beltran and Delgado behind him struggled this year compared to Howard and Utley.
YOUNG: They've been tearin' it up [ED NOTE: No, they haven't. They suck.] How about Ryan Howard earlier this season?
PHILLIPS: I'll trade you right now, Jose Reyes for Jimmy Rollins, you'd take Reyes.
KRUK: We're talking about an All-Star Game!
YOUNG: Not about trades! [ED NOTE: So cute. They're finishing eachother's poorly-thought out arguments.]
PHILLIPS: Okay, who would you say gives that team a better chance to win that game?
KRUK and YOUNG (in unison): Jimmy Rollins! [ED NOTE: According to the Hardball Times, Reyes has four more win shares this season than Rollins. Just thought I'd point that out.]
PHILLIPS (incredulous, once again): It's not even close. Jose Reyes does everything.
KRUK (interjecting): You wanna throw situations out, let's throw this one out: bases loaded, 2-run game, bottom of the ninth inning, who do you want hitting? Jimmy Rollins or Jose Reyes?
PHILLIPS: I'll take Reyes. Absolutely. He does everything, he doesn't strike out.
KRUK: Then you'll lose. [ED NOTE: Rollins is 0-for-5 on the season with bases loaded. Reyes is 4-for-12.]
YOUNG (changing the topic and making no sense): You also have to think about the opponents' batting averages against those guys. It's not going to be a piece of cake for him to get on base and steal. [ED NOTE: So is it going to be easy for Rollins? I don't understand... they would face the same pitchers.] You got Pudge behind the plate. Pudge shuts down.
RAVECH (trying to save Young and Kruk from their stupidity): There are people in Milwaukee saying, why are you even having this discussion? Where's J.J. Hardy? People in Florida, the few that actually watch the Marlins, saying where's Hanley Ramirez?
PHILLIPS: Hardy's 2nd best, Ramirez's 3rd best, Renteria's fourth best, and Rollins is 5th. [ED NOTE: By WARP (which takes defense into account), your top NL Shortstops: Reyes, Renteria, Rollins, Ramirez, Hardy.]
YOUNG: I can't believe you're saying that.
KRUK: That's why, as a GM, you're here with us.

(later in the show, another exchange with JOE MORGAN)

RAVECH: You were listening to that discussion we had, about Reyes and Rollins, and you were a speed guy. Who would you have selected, Reyes or Rollins, given that choice?
MORGAN: Well, you know what, I'd flip a coin, either one that comes up, I'd be happy with. [ED NOTE: If you read Fire Joe Morgan, this must sound familiar.] But if you forced me to make a choice, I'd have to take Reyes. I think Reyes is the most exciting player in the game right now. [ED NOTE: He also leads all NL Shortstops in WARP!] I think Jimmy Rollins is exciting; he's a great player, a great clutch hitter. I just think that that's a real snub not to have him on the all star team. But I would have to take Reyes.
RAVECH: [blah, blah] Some have compared Jose Reyes to you in your prime.
MORGAN: I didn't get that. (having some audio issues)
RAVECH: I just complimented you.
MORGAN: Well, that's high praise, because I think he's an exciting player.

One final ED NOTE: If Rollins is so bothered about being left off the roster, he might want to ask Tony La Russa why he took Aaron Rowand as a manager's selection. I don't think he's very good. Or why he took Albert Pujols, who has not been Albert-ly this season (SLG down by nearly 140 pts. compared to last year).

==================

I'll be back tomorrow with something coherent which hopefully can spear Aaron Heilman. Stay tuned.

Crosstown Rivals is sponsored by JustGreatTickets.com, your home for Chicago White Sox Tickets.

Schoene' Him The Door

Tonight's game, a 5-3 extra inning loss to the hated Cardinals, which ended the Mets' one game winning streak against the Redbirds at Shea, was a failure on many levels despite the unlopsided score.

One ought to view this failure in three parts: the failure of the entire team to hit Todd effing Wellemeyer, who has all of eight major league wins to his credit (alongside an utterly sterling career 5.51 ERA), the failure of Scott Schoeneweis to do anything that could possibly help this team at any point in time, and the respective failures of Omar Minaya and Willie Randolph on this night and others.

You might say I'm overreacting, but the Mets' offense, in deslumpifying itself, managed only one run against Oakland on Saturday, one run in the first nine against St. Louis last night, and only three in the first nine tonight. You might remind me that I am forgetting two blowouts against Oakland in the Mets' favor, but then I will remind you that they faced Lenny DiNardo and Joe Kennedy in those games.

So, the Mets didn't fare too well against a replacement level starter tonight. They didn't last night, either. What can I do? There's nothing to second-guess: Delgado looks atrocious at the plate (1-for-5, 4 LOB, including a crucial groundout with men on first and third), and when Jose Reyes isn't hitting (1-for-5 tonight), he isn't stealing bases, and the Mets' offensive wheels aren't turning. No Met had a multi-hit game tonight, and six hits in eleven innings isn't a winning pace. Oh, well.

But, really, that's been a trend of late. The Cardinals don't hit all that much either, despite having one of baseball's top sluggers on their roster. (TAGUCHI!) They have Albert Pujols, too. Yet they manage to circumvent offense and win at the same time, at least when facing the Mets.

How does that happen? Two words: Scott Schoeneweis. He's awful. Totally horrendous. I can't really think of a time, save for a few April and Spring Training games, where I was able to heap praise on Schoeneweis. You might recall this post (scroll down a little), where I discussed and criticized the initial signing. However, I'm not sure there was anyone who expected Schoeneweis to be an instant curse upon entering the game.

Schoeneweis can't be used. Baseball Prospectus lists his VORP as -1.7 runs, which is pretty terrible, and that doesn't even include tonight's poor showing, including a home run ball served up to a rookie who most likely idolizes David Eckstein's power production. His ERA is 5.86, and he seemingly walks/allows a home run to each and every batter he faces.

Perhaps I'm exaggerating: the Mets' record is only 1-5 in the last six games in which Schoeneweis has pitched, and he really wasn't directly responsible for any of those losses, except tonight's. He claims to be injured, but it wasn't that mysterious severed leg tendon serving up the 3-2 meatball to Brendan Ryan.

Even in a best-case scenario, Schoeneweis is a mediocre pitcher who has little place on a major-league roster aside from a left-handed specialist role. And Pedro Feliciano already fills that role like convicted shakedown artist Tony Sirico as Paulie Walnuts on the Sopranos. Schoeneweis can't be a mop-up guy: that's Sele's job. Maybe he and Julio Franco could take a ride in a late model Yugo driven by Duaner Sanchez's cabby. I'm just saying.

But we have become accustomed to Schoeneweis' failure: he is the Mets' version of a white flag, at least in the minds of the fanbase. Why hasn't the coaching staff gotten that memo yet? We're putting new cover sheets on the TPS reports, too.

This is why much of the onus for the loss must be put on Willie 'n Omar, Omar 'n Willie, the inseparable duo who brought Scott Schoeneweis and Julio Franco into our Mets family, and who now refuse to cut their losses and acknowledge the mistakes. Even George Bush (a friend of Minaya and Franco, I smell a conspiracy!) knew it was time to pull the plug on Rumsfeld and Ashcroft at some point.

What was Willie thinking when he took Wagner out after a nine-pitch tenth? I understand he would have had to go two innings on back-to-back nights, but it would have been more like one and a half after that stress-free frame. It's not as though he had to bat, or as though their most feared hitters were due up in the next frame.

If he is so hell-bent on saving his closer, then what exactly was his reasoning behind selecting Schoeneweis to pitch the next frame? Although his four best relievers were out (although it shames me to include Mota and Heilman in that assessment), he did have Joe Smith to go to. Even Aaron Sele has been better this season than Schoeneweis.

That decision didn't pan out well, and the degree to which it was so poorly rewarded might have overshadowed the even more questionable decision to pinch-hit Julio Franco in the ninth with men on the corners. Franco hasn't had a pinch-hit in three weeks, and his .196/.333/.261 line doesn't exactly instill confidence in anyone.

While utilizing Ramon Castro in that spot probably wouldn't make sense, Willie would have been much better off using Damion Easley instead of Franco. Either option was 0-for-his career against Izzy, but at least we can recall Easley having hits in this millennium that were not bloop singles to right field.

In fact, Willie could have opted to leave Carlos Gomez in to bat for himself against the closer, who had lost all control of his curveball, and then sent up Ledee to bat for Mota. The game had already been tied, and Gomez has been getting on base at a higher clip than Ledee this year.

Instead, Ledee walked, and Julio "Out Machine" Franco went up and was a role model to all the young players, showing them how to overstay their welcome and how to minimize their bat speed and, simultaneously (!), maximize their outmaking potential. The jokes make themselves with Julio on the field. He is absolutely useless, and it befuddles me why Willie chooses to use him as his "ace" pinch-hitter.

Randolph might say that it's nice to have a bullet like that for late in the game: the Mets play Russian Roulette with themselves when the amazing egg-white guzzler steps up to the plate. By the way, did you know that Julio is older than Ron Darling? Almost two full years older? Ron retired in 1995. Hell, Franco's only three years younger than Lee Mazzilli.

Those two decisions are where Willie's at fault: Franco shouldn't be in any major league games at all, and Schoeneweis should be in even fewer than that. But it's someone's fault that these two found their way onto the roster in the first place, and that blame falls squarely on the shoulders of our beloved Omar.

Some have found significant fault with his offseason dealings, and I count myself in the crowd that only vilifies him for a couple of those moves. He deserves praise for passing on Barry Zito's ridiculous price tag, and outfielders like Alfonso Soriano and Carlos Lee. He showed incredible foresight in making both Maine and Perez parts of this year's rotation, and the Moises move might even turn out well, if his legs can be reattached.

But Minaya's failures this offseason lie in a few atrocious moves: two trades and one signing. The signing was Schoeneweis at 3 years, $11 M, just for the hell of it, apparently. The Mets passed on one of their relief aces from '06, Chad Bradford, at an almost identical clip, and he has a 3.49 ERA in 40 games for the Orioles this season. He's younger than Schoeneweis, too. That move has been discussed to death, and with good reason.

Minaya's two trades were even worse: Royce Ring/Heath Bell to the Padres for Jon Adkins and Ben Johnson, and Matt Lindstrom/Henry Owens to the Marlins for Adam Bostick/Jason Vargas.

Lindstrom has a 3.52 ERA in 33 games for Florida; Owens a 1.96 clip in 22 games (4 saves) for the Fish, before going down with an injury. Heath Bell has a 1.42 ERA in 36 games with San Diego, and Ring (right) hasn't given up a run in his four games of MLB work, alongside a 4-0 record and 1.23 ERA in 25 games for AAA Portland.

Three of the relief pitchers the Mets sent away have ERAs under two, and the other still has a respectable 3.52. Do you want to know what the Mets got in those trades?

Adam Bostick has a 3-5 record and 6.71 ERA at AAA N'awlins. Vargas made one forgettable start for the Mets and has a 6-4 record to go with a 4.35 ERA on the farm. Jon Adkins is the gem of the bunch, with his 3.68 ERA in 29 games for the Zephyrs. Ben Johnson posted a downright adorable .185/.233/.222 line in 27 AB for the Mets, and has fared rather middlingly at AAA, with a .264 average and zero power (.368 SLG).

Might it be a little bit more than a coincidence that the Mets have lost or been aided in their losing of several games due to spotty middle relief? The Mets traded away four dynamite major league relievers for nothing. Zero contribution to the big club for the Mets' acquisitions. Ahem, there was actually less than zero contribution as Vargas and Johnson combine for a -3.8 VORP at the plate and on the mound.

It pains me to say that the players the Mets chose to give up have been worth 34.9 runs over replacement level to their teams. Considering that the Mets gave up about 40 runs in two trades, and that a win is worth about ten runs, the Mets cost themselves four wins to this point during the season in these trades. Four wins extra and four losses subtracted would have given the Mets a 46-29 record, which would have been tops in the NL and third in major league baseball.

I hope that this doesn't sound like an excessively impassioned rant, but at this point in the season, there has to be some blame assessed for a 2.5 game lead that could have been 6.5. Minaya has time to remedy his mistakes: promote Willie Collazo (the AAA squad's best reliever, as long as Ambi "The Lorax" is disabled) and 1B Andy Tracy (.311/.418/.571, 18 HR, 58 RBI) while DFAing Julio Franco and DLing Schoeneweis.

Just a humble suggestion, but one that's intended to avoid all too certain failure.

----------------------

Two quick notes:

-Check for an article regarding Delgado, Franco, and Andy Tracy by me (!) on Mike's Mets tomorrow. I will be writing there weekly, for the foreseeable future, but I'll still be here to provide you coverage on my usual semi-semi-regular posting schedule.

-I'm going to tomorrow night's game (Anthony Reyes and his 0-9 record and 6.69 ERA vs. Tom 296, 7:10 p.m.) and hope to fare better than I did last time. If I don't, be sure to keep your cursor on that refresh button to indulge yourself in my horror.

Crosstown Rivals is sponsored by JustGreatTickets.com, your home for Chicago White Sox Tickets.

Rock Bottom

It's hard to imagine things would have gotten any worse for this Mets team after a sweep at the hands of Philadelphia, letting the subpar Phillies reenter the division race.

Well, it's been two weeks, and they have. The Mets lost this evening, 6-2, sending Oliver Perez, this season's unlikely ace to the hill, against the Twins' Scott Baker, whose 1-2 record and 7.33 ERA so far this season are an embarrassment to anyone named Scott or Baker.

It marks the sixth straight series dropped by the Mets. This used to be best described as a funk, then a slump, then a lengthy losing streak, Now, however, the Mets' precipitous decline resembles a collapse. The team has been awful defensively, awful offensively, and awful on the hill.

A loss used to be a refuge for this club, infallible, and unable to be threatened by hard-charging opponents. These Mets are weak, resembling in no way or shape the team we grew accustomed to seeing since the inception of "the New Mets."

Sure, the team is 38-32, a record we would have been exceedingly pleased with during the reign of Art Howe. But this isn't working. There are no strings being pulled from above, no Met seemingly threatened with an unsatisfactory fate besides Carlos Gomez, who is the only player on the team giving a consistent level of effort.

Let me amend myself: others on the team are giving a consistently low level of effort, as Carlos Delgado's recent defensive (and offensive) performance makes me pine for Doug Mientkiewicz. Shawn Green ought to be envious of Barry Bonds' range, and Jose Reyes might not even win a home run derby against Jason Tyner right now.

I never anticipated asking this question during this season, especially after a sterling April and May, but can things get any worse for this team? They have been ravaged by many injuries, including Beltran's nagging quad, Moises's shredded quad, and the Duck's shattered thumb.

Pedro's absence deprives the Mets of their true ace, and Duaner Sanchez's cab ride from hell still haunts the Mets in the late innings. One might not be able to credit late-inning collapses for any of the failures since the Phillies series, but Joe Smith has lost his luster and the rest of the pen never had any.

Injuries have shepherded the club to this point, but with no imminent returns from anyone, including Firstings, is it safe to say that things will get any better soon? Pedro might be the jolt who can fix things, but he's nowhere near all there yet. There's nothing there in the minor leagues, unless you long for OF Chip Ambres, whose name's reminiscence to that of a Braves superstar (and announcer) makes me doubt his readiness.

The issue is complacency, at least in part, as Delgado has watched his OBP sink below .300 and Beltran's last homer came on June sixth. Carlos Gomez is the only player capable of pushing Beltran with Endy out, and if Beltran sits, the outfield contains Green and Ledee flanking Gomez.
What's worse is that Julio Franco is the only first baseman on the Mets' roster, and allowing him to spell Delgado might just sink this team even further. Recent ostensibly false reports suggested that Franco was an impetus for conflict within the team, but perhaps Minaya has retained his employ as a personal favor to Delgado, who cannot face any heat from a man old enough to be his father. (**may not be true; I shall consult my inside sources)

Nevertheless, this team plays with varying senses of urgency, none of which seem to be exactly proper, as evidenced by the losing streak. The Mets are fortuitous, as they have the opportunity to end this horrendous interleague play against Oakland while missing their ace, Dan Haren, though Joes Blanton and Kennedy aren't exactly Scott Baker. The Mets will also face Lenny DiNardo, a former Met property.

Don't imagine another sweep, another lost series. Visualize a Mets sweep, a reversal to perpetuate an unprecedented hot streak. Things can't get much worse. My fingers are crossed.

p.s.: new white stripes and smashing pumpkins within three weeks? does it get any better? (no.)

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