Cut and Run

Official Memorandum
From: Schuyla' (zookman12@yahoo.com)
To: New York Metropolitans Baseball Club
CC: Everyone
BCC: Jose Reyes, David Wright
Subject: Cut and Run
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It is time, my boys.
It's been a long time coming.
The Mets haven't played the Red Sox (pronounced Sawks) since July 14, 2001. The game, recapped here, was a win for the Mets highlighted by Glendon Rusch's ten strikeouts.
The Mets haven't visited Boston and Fenway Park (pronounced Pahk) since losing two in a three-game set in 2000.
The winning pitchers in those games? Rich Garces, after Benitez blew up, Pat Mahomes, Met legend, and Pedro's big brother Ramon.
Garces is long gone due to a penchant for overeating, Mahomes is twirling his craft for the Long Island Ducks and Ramon Martinez is living in retirement after finishing his career up in 2001 with the Pirates.
Who started those games for the Mets?
Immortals Bobby Jones (the caucasian one), Glendon Rusch (again!?) and Mike Hampton.
You know where they are. Rusch is pitching incredibly poorly for the Cubs; Hampton is sitting out the year on the Braves' dime after TJ surgery; and Jones retired in 2002 after two unimpressive seasons with the Padres.
So what does this all mean?
It means how far both squads have come. The Red Sox' sole holdover is catcher Jason Varitek, while the longest-tenured Met is Steve Trachsel, who joined the team in 2002.
The climate has changed, as well. The Mets made the World Series in 2000, but have toiled in the mediocrity of 2001 and 2005 with abysmal seasons in between. The Red Sox captured a World Series and broke the so-called curse, but not until after they had been crushed by the bat of Aaron Boone and the slow hand of Grady Little.
Now, though, the Mets are the best team in the National League, if not in all of baseball. They've great sluggers like Carloses Beltran and Delgado, David Wright. They have back-to-back NL Player of the Week Jose Reyes, aka one of the worst everyday players in the big leagues according to Rob "I'm an idiot and I hate the Mets" Neyer. And then they have the big three two of Glavine and Pedro. And of course, there's Wagner waiting for you at the end game.
So what to do in this three game series, my Metly readers?
Cut and run, that's what.
We won't be seeing these colorful stockings for a long while, at least not until their turn comes up again in interleague play, and that, my friends, allows us to beat them without the fear. It allows Pedro to drill whoever he damn well pleases, like David Ortiz, who famously remarked "Pedro ain't going to no Mets." He can peg Manny Ramirez, who pulled his trade request off the table before his colorful hair and colorful personality could join the Flushing corps. Even though they were his best friend and fellow Dominicanos.
It allows Tom Glavine to change things up (pun entirely intended) and firebomb the Sawx unafraid of them hitting anything he can throw. It's been a while since they've seen him and it will be a while longer.
And it's time for the Mets to pound the Red Sox.
Make up for the humiliation of the National League, the league that plays baseball correctly, the league without those damn Kelly Stinnetts.
It needs to be a sweep.
Even if Alay Soler can't speak English, he best know how to sweep.
Pedro knows sweeps well. As does Tommy Glavine.
Pedro swept the Cards in the 2004 World Series. Glavine was swept by the Chad Curtises in 1999.
And the Sawx are in the middle of the Mets' master plans.
Because their time has come.
And, readers, don't even get me started about the Yankees.
Did you hear the newest Yankee joke?
What happened when Bob Cano strained his left hamstring and got put on the DL?
Miguel Cairo found a starting job and Nick Green was called up.

On a more serious note, an infamous punching bag of mine, Peter Gammons, was diagnosed with a brain aneurysm today. I am unaware of the severity of the condition, according to a neurosurgeon I know (my father), it seems as though Gammons is fortunate that he was able to be rushed to a Boston hospital in time for emergency surgery. Sources tell Crosstown Rivals that Gammons is expected to be in intensive care for approximately two weeks. No word on when he'll return to writing or to ESPN. As usual, our thoughts and prayers are with Mr. Gammons and his family.

While not nearly as serious, the upcoming Mets-Sawx series is all about making a statement. And the statement is that the Mets are ready and willing to cut and run.