Scarred and Scared

Please ignore my last post.

The cruel joke appears to be over, but another win might help.

I'll be back writing regularly when I stop sweating.

Smooth Sailing

You may have been wondering why I haven't joined you in this space of late. You're probably all the better for it, and I have ridden myself of nearly all anxiety regarding the Mets, except a nasty rash that breaks out when Guillermo Mota's "I Like to Move it Move it" song plays over the Shea sound system.

The team has entrenched themselves as increasingly infallible. I didn't think I'd be saying this after the sweep against the Phillies, after the Braves were the Mets' kryptonite this year, and after the entire starting pitching staff and bullpen looked to be on the brink of collapse.

But the Magic Number is 11... it's possible to count it on Antonio Alfonseca's fingers. That's always a good sign.

And I don't think a comeback for anyone is on the way: after three games against the hated "Team to Beat," the Mets play six against the Nationals and seven against the Marlins alongside one against the Cardinals to close out the season. That's a game every day, and you can bet the Mets will be sending out the big guns: Conine, Gotay, Endy, Carlos Gomez, and maybe even Anderson Hernandez will take the field for some meaningless games in September.

Once the Phillies are dead and gone (the Braves are practically there already), the Mets can relax and set the yacht to auto-pilot. Moises can lay on the beach, glove extended, provided he doesn't strain anything. Pedro can find a Dominican dwarf-horror film actor to carry around.

It's smooth sailing until October.

Five the Hard Way

Well played, Mets.

After five devastating losses in a row, I guess this was the best they could do. They've put on nightly shows more entertaining than Celine Dion's, and that's not easy.

Tonight, the Duck played unlikely hero in a contest that one couldn't have called for the Mets from the get-go. Oliver Perez continued to be erratic, banking tonight's start as the opening argument in the case of why wins are a relatively useless statistic.

Ollie walked five for the third straight start, though this time he did not bring the ten strikeouts that he showed in Philly, allowing five runs to cross the plate in five innings. Only three of those runs were earned, though, on account of Paul Lo Duca's errant throw, his seventh error of the year. Is it just me, or does Paul Lo Duca make you want to trade for Mike Piazza, if only as a late-inning defensive replacement?

But Duck did another Mike Piazza impression tonight. He drove in seven of the Mets' 11 runs, blasting (erm, they were at the GABP, and the ball went like, two feet over the fence) two three-run shots and a single as well. Perhaps Paul had some money on the long side this evening?

Get this: the Duck had five homers and 34 RBI coming into tonight's game, and he leaves with seven and 41. I'll bet a chunk of his winnings are made out to Todd Coffey and Matt Belisle, who, apparently, are major league pitchers.

Yesterday, they run out a half-rate thespian in relief and a pitcher whose last name makes me think I'm watching a certain SNL sketch, and today they have Bill Bray (who came along with Gary Majewski in one of the worst trades in recent memory) giving up three runs in zero point zero innings of work and some dude named after a fish walk two in an inning of work.

To think, all but one of those replacement-level clowns have better ERAs than Guillermo Mota (2 years, $5MM) and Scott Schoeneweis (3 years, $10.5MM). In Omar We Trust? Yeah, right.

I'll keep my criticism curt, for I have little choice but to be pleased with five straight victories. These games took a contribution from everyone in the rotation (even El Duque, whose achy foot forced Pedro back into active duty), and, more importantly, the bats have started clicking again.

David Wright is still firing on all cylinders, Beltran is putting together some strong showings, Alou is using a touch extra of urine on his hands, and even Carlos Delgado is clobbering the occasional ball. Hell, Shawn Green and the Duck combined for six hits today! If Jose Reyes were clicking, this would be the dream team all over again.

Who knows: Baseball Prospectus gives the Mets a 95+ percent chance of winning the division. I think he can get a little rest.

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Memo to SNY: I know the quirky announcers are often the best, but can someone remind Gary and Keith that at least one of them has to be the straight man, even in lopsided games. It was getting so bad, as they were one-upping eachother with memories of Underdog, that I was thinking of muting their game and going over to WCBS just to hear John Sterling and Suzyn Waldman have awkward pauses and cut eachother off.

Tomorrow: John Maine looks to push forward against the legendary Tom Shearn. 12:35 p.m. is your first pitch.

Four Straight

I can't blame Guillermo Mota for this one. Can't blame Willie, Delgado, or even Shawn Green. The usual scapegoats are gone.

The lack of scapegoats crippled the Mets this evening, as they lost 3-1 to the Phillies in absolutely heartbreaking fashion. You'd think losing on a Ryan Howard walk-off shot with Mota on the hill would be rough.

But you haven't seen the wrath of C.B. Bucknor.

While pinch-hitter Marlon Anderson is probably absolved of blame on account of a hit that put the Mets in good position to tie, he was obviously trying to interfere with second baseman Tadahito Iguchi. But he's a veteran! Keith would say that he has tailor-made fundamentals, or something.

And obviously you would know that Shawn Green, slower than MetroNorth, would actually have made it safely to first, and Endy would have crossed the plate, and the game would have been tied. The Mets would have beaten wife-beating Brett Myers.

But Marlon Anderson thought it best to make up for Pearl Harbor with his pugilistic skills at second base, and Iguchi acted with the adeptness of a seasoned veteran of the West End.

So, we're here. The lead is three, gentlemen, and we're headed to Atlanta for the weekend. Color me scared.

Durbed

Durb your enthusiasm. I'm back, but the Mets are taking a little bit of a vacation.

Sure, they didn't play like their overrated Bronx counterparts, who witnessed the magic of Mike Mussina and Quality Veteran Pitching, en route to being three-hit by Justin Verlander and losing 16-0.

The Mets learned a little bit about why the Quality Veteran Pitching doesn't buy you much tonight. Brian Lawrence, a Quality Veteran Pitcher himself, the former ace of the 64-98 2003 San Diego Padres, took the hill against J.D. Durbin, a pitcher with 7 starts to his career ledger and a 5.68 career ERA.

Who won? It should have been Lawrence, the Quality Veteran Pitcher, the one who was promoted by the Mets despite having zero upside and a fastball that would be lucky to touch 85 on the gun.

The Mets didn't want to lose him on account of his opt-out clause should another club offer him a major league deal. Lawrence would be a major loss: a 3.87 ERA in AAA is impossible to replicate. So they promoted him and let him take the fifth starter spot. Jorge Sosa was slipping, and Mike Pelfrey wasn't going to hold it either.

Fair enough. I was all for Lawrence getting the first shot. And he looked okay, at times.

But now, this is a nightmare that just won't end. Thank Moises that Pedro is on his way. He nearly beat the Class A Palm Beach Cardinals tonight!

However, Pedro isn't your ordinary Quality Veteran Pitcher. He throws a filthy changeup and curve, and also happens to have three Cy Young Awards and is two strikeouts away from three thousand.

Brian Lawrence has a career ERA+ of 95 and once was the ace for some last-place Padre teams, and, well, things didn't go as well as planned tonight.

J.D. Durbin held the Mets hitless through four innings, and shut 'em down afterwards.

I love Quality Veteran Pitchers, don't you?

A Sigh of Relief

I'm not sure Tom Glavine has been the Mets' ace this year- he has shown periods of extreme inability to pitch like one, and he frequently is in trouble with walks and too many balls. But he sure as hell pitched like one tonight.

Sure, to repeat the all too common refrain, they're still in first, et cetera, but they needed to win this game tonight. Despite that necessity, we saw something of the B-Team out there again: our good friend Mike DiFelice (of the +.1 WARP1 since 2004) was behind the plate, Shawn Green was in right field against a lefty, and Damion Easley was at first base. Not exactly the team you'd want in Game 7 (though Yadier Molina might not be on that team either).

The gang of misfits became the unlikeliest of heroes tonight. Green was on base twice, DiFelice drove in three and hit a long triple (the ninth of his long career), and Easley set the tone with an early home run and managed not to screw up at first base.

Factor in a slick double play from Reyes and Castillo, both of whom were on base twice tonight, and great plate discipline and contributions all around the lineup, and you have the seeds of a win. Seeds, mind you, that were grown into nice shrubbery by Tom Glavine.

Glavine threw seven innings, allowing eight hits and a walk, but whiffing six and keeping the Nationals, a pretty hot team, to one run. Although we heard the rumblings of "here we go again. . ." when Jorge Sosa took the hill and proceeded to have a rough go of it, there was Pedro Feliciano returning to form and inducing a ground-ball right to Reyes for the double play. Pedro even went the extra mile, as it were, by not melting down in the ninth inning, which allowed Alpaca Man to remain in the bullpen.

This game was one of those which you expected to win, like last night's, and the feeling afterwards is less rejoicing than it is relief. You'd like to have your regular lineup back, and you'd like to beat Matt Chico a little bit more resoundingly, but for now, the Mets will take it day by day.

Another One

I know they won two out of three. But still, might we be able to question Willie's field managing skills?

Read my Talkin' Pitchin' With Aarin' Heilmin' sketch from the archives.

I promise I'll be back tomorrow– though this is starting to resemble Groundhog Day.

A Few Business Notes

Hi, all:

• Sorry for not posting anything all that meaty or pithy of late; I wish I had an excuse other than "Willie is really starting to turn my stomach." I'll be back tonight.


• If you're bored, check out my piece about the bullpen of woe at Mike's Mets.

Thanks.

Aghast

:items:

Nobody's perfect, including Billy Wagner.

Back to back poor showings: maybe there's some money in alpaca farming.

Carlos is back, but he's no Hess truck: better than ever is hardly true.

The offense is awful. Terrible.

I can throw harder than Brian Lawrence. With my toes.

Where have you gone, Carlos Delgado, Shawn Green, Jose Reyes, Paul Lo Duca, Moises Alou? Our nation turns its lonely eyes to you.

I'm aghast.

Alejandro De Aza, Hanley Ramirez, Miguel Olivo, and Hanley Ramirez all had more hits than Delgado, Wright, and Beltran combined. What a wonderful world.

Pinch me. This must be a dream.

Mike Piazza cleared waivers. Is he available to be a defensive replacement for Lo Duca?

Daniel Barone? Kevin Gregg? Matt Lindstrom? This isn't a major league team.

Have a good night, but you might want to load up on the Ambien rather than tossing and turning and reflecting on this one.

Nothing Perpetuates Momentum Like a Brick Wall

Tom Glavine won his 300th game on Sunday evening, and there was much rejoicing. (YAYY!) But the Braves know how to take wind out of the Mets' sails. Tom Glavine was theirs before he was ours, and they wanted to assure us wholeheartedly that they were aware of that.

They came out firing against the Mets' Braves specialist, if you will, Oliver Perez, and the game appeared lopsided early. Matt Die-Az jacked one in the opening frame, and it was all downhill from there. The Mets weren't able to muster much offense, notching only three runs all game. Who opposed them this game? Was Smoltz on the hill? Tim Hudson? I think not.

My friends, it was Buddy Carlyle, of the 7-6 record and 5.60 ERA for his career, who toed the rubber against the Mets tonight.

I'm not sure what it is about the Braves that ruins the Mets so: double plays and shoddy pitching abounded tonight.

One thing is sure, though: the curse is not broken.

Another: I hate the Braves.