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The End of an Era

The world of sports has proved to us time and time again how volatile things can be. Studies and approaches to the games change frequently. Spitballs became prominent, amphetamines made their round and steroids dominated the 1990s and 2000s. A new era will begin in 2006, or rather an old era will end. And it is my time to pay homage to that era: the era of the career-destroying spouse.

Significant others who have destroyed careers:

Yoko Ono: Easy. Destroyed one of the greatest musical acts ever known to man since the Neanderthal Trio first played the tambourine.

Brigitte Nielsen: Took down Jets sack monster Mark Gastineau. Even though his hair was hideous, she singlehandedly swiped him out of football and therefore swept the Jets out of the 1986 championship.

Anne Heche: Didn't you sort of feel bad for Ellen DeGeneres after she came out and then her girlfriend went back to being straight? That was just weeeeeeird.

Teresa Heinz Kerry: Come now. Her way of life belied everything her husband stood for. She spoke pretensiously with a far-away accent, she drove around in a fleet of Hummers and she was totally unapologetic for it.

Shalimar: Not really a spouse, but driving around with a transvestite prostitute doesn't help your career if you want to have voice roles in Mulan and Shrek. Sure, Eddie, we believe you about the fact that you just wanted to drive him/her home.

Kevin Federline: What, you thought it was only women who could ruin a perfectly solid career? K-Fed turned the succulent pop tart into a hefty ho.

So, what, no mention of a story relating to a former Mets pitcher? Oh, right.

Anna Benson: Moved husband from Pittsburgh to New York to Baltimore while filling Jay Horwitz' doghouse in more ways than one. Here's to you, Anna Banana, may you find gratification in this sexy and single former Met. Have fun in Baltimore. Slut.

Let me also mention a damn good entry from MetsGeek about a pitcher who deserves more credit than he's ever gotten.

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