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Everything's Bigger in Texas

Listen closely children, for tonight, you will hear the story of the courageous Jason Giambi, otherwise known as:

First off, Jason Giambi is a man among men. He is the best player on the team at this point, thoroughly justifying his contract, and I happen to be an enormous fan. Kudos, I say, to the player of the month. Now for those of you wondering whether the whole world has forgotten Jason was on steroids, don't worry. It's still in the back of most people's mind. He cheated. However, at least he told the truth under oath, more than we can say for some other cough Raffy Palmeiro cough players. Then, when this little prissy rumor spreading 7th grader we call the judicial system goes and leaks grand jury testimony? Does Giambi bitch and moan? No, he takes it like a man. He works harder and recovers from his steroid induced injuries. He still struggles. Torre threatens to send him to AAA. Does Jason call a press conference to display his disgust, calling out management? Of course not. He once again works harder, gets his swing back, and now the man is getting on base every other at bat. He just is an ideal teammate, player, and person. And he made one mistake, granted. He told the truth, got screwed over, sucked it up, and kept right on truckin. Everyone turned on him, no one gave him a shot (yours truly included), and yet he's never bitter. Gotta love it. Schuyla says he's on HGH. I personally don't believe that, but everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Point being, the guy has a really high on-base percentage. I heart Jason Giambi. It's true. Pass your friend a note in gym class about it, because I want the world to know that I'm behind him. Don't fail me J-Giam.

.301/.532/.726 with 9 HR, 29 RBI

Slightly late notice: The Idiot's return to Fenway. Doy. It was a good game, not highlighted by Damon but as usual by Papi. Damon will never produce in Fenway. It's a fact that we're gonna have to come to grips with. With the Monster looming and former teammates and good memories left and right, I think that it might even be wise to stick Bernie in next time we head over there. Too many conflicting emotions = too many ohfer-somethings. He's proved me wrong for sure with his consistently above average play, but in Fenway, he's just not the same person. Can't blame the guy. He was the Idiot. Their Idiot. Somethings a haircut won't change, and that's the fact that Damon is a Red Sock first and a Yankee for now. He seems like a pretty good guy, I've got nothing terrible to say about him anymore, he's just a little confused. Because everytime he looks at Cocoa (whoops) Harris in center, he laughs. Just because it's funny to see Willie Harris try to play. Hahahaha. That's a good one. But every time he looks at the Monster he sees Manny going in to get some shade. And every time he sees Curt Schilling, he sees the sock. He's like some overattached woman who realized she had been going out with a prick for like 2 years and is unwilling to let go. If you catch my drift. It's alright John, we feel your pain. Even though he did only wanna get in your pants.

.309/.395/.509 with 4 HR, 18 RBI, 7 SB

I really am a fan of Zach Duke. He is really phemomenal. If only Pittsburgh could get something else. Nothing really to write, I just love the guy. I think he's got tenacity, work ethic, and most importantly, ridiculous stuff, and he's gonna be a big star.

(career numbers) 10-4, 2.33 ERA, 123 IP, 116 H, 2:1 SO:BB

20 Things I Learned About the Yankees in April: (belated edition)

1. That maybe I don't despise Johnny Damon after all.
2. That Robinson Cano will always be good but never be spectacular, and that's why we'll trade him.
3. That Mike Mussina is the best pitcher in the AL save Johan, who's off anyway.
4. That Curt Schilling and Josh Beckett really, really, deeply concern me.
5. That we have the best infield in baseball.
6. That Carl Pavano is even more of a pussy that anyone could possibly imagine, and that his pussydom is threatening to end humanity as we know it.
7. That our bullpen is an issue.
8. That Rivi is amazing, but you no longer actually feel like the game is over when he takes the mound with a lead.
7. That Gary Sheffield is kinda a bitch.
8. That anyone who thinks Derek Jeter is overrated is clinically ill, because apart from Tejada, he is the best all around shortstop in the league.
9. That there is little to no hope for Jaret Wright, although there is considerable hope for Pavano.
10. That Chien-Ming Wang (Wong) has a lot of learning to do before he's ready to be a good 3 pitcher.
11. That Aaron Small deserves the right to prove that although he may be terrible out of the bullpen, last year was no fluke.
12. That Octavio Dotel is missing, presumably dead, and on the back of milk cartons everywhere.
13. That Tanyon Sturtze woke up one day and realized he was Tanyon Sturtze.
14. That we can beat the teams we have to beat, but the good ones are a little bit more trouble.
15. That Joe Torre is a good guy and a good manager, but not everything he is cracked up to be.
16. That I have the utmost respect for Jorge Posada, but he is clearly over the hill. (however, keep him in, I love Georgie)
17. That Kyle Farnsworth is one crazy son of a bitch.
18. That Jason Giambi and Derek Jeter and not Alex Rodriguez and Randy Johnson will determine how far this team goes.
19. That the winner of the East(us) may not win 90 games, because of how everyone is beating up everyone else.
20. That Philip Hughes is the savior of our franchise, and that he must have some bigass shoulders to carry all that weight.

My Mets Hate List for the Day:
David Wright and his middle class values.
Trax and his 4 minute interval between each pitch.
Duaner and his goddamn lucky goggles.
Everyone on the team who grew a mustache. (here's looking at you Jose)
Willie Randolph and his increasing boldness as a manager.

Why I love myself:
Because I know that in late August the Mets will be sinking while the red-hot Braves pass them by. And Mets fans don't because they think it's their year. Laugh with me, bretheren, laugh with me.
Also, in a ridiculous turn of events, Cliff Floyd left TEN on base tonight. I literally just laughed out loud. Way to go Cliffy.

TB Wrap-Up: (short because I am sleepy)
Well we swept em. Good men. Johnson was shaky but as usual good enough. Jaret also pitched much better than I anticipated but nonetheless in my opinion has no future in the Bronx. That opener was a pretty good one and it allowed A-Rod to get out of that nasty funk. Derek Jeter was silent, contrary to what I believed would happen (still love you Derek, don't worry), while A-Rod, Bernie, Georgie, and Damon were all loud and clear. Offense was generally clicking, although getting shutdown by Casey Fossum was certainly an interesting/humbling/embarassing expereince. All in all I'm glad we didn't get stupid and let one slip away. Good momentum builder heading into a tougher series in Texas. Sorry for the lack of recap but this was a two game sweep of the Rays and it just doesn't seem to merit that much writing or thought. Definitely good wins, though, they're a pesky team even with their decimated roster.

Player of the Series: Damon
As much as I want to give it to Bernie, he left too many on base, whereas Damon was efficient, mostly with the GS. Out of Fenway and against weak pitching, Damon did what he had to do, and that was a 3 hit, 4 RBI series. Good stuff.

Spotlight on Derek Jeter tomorrow as I kill two birds with one stone (player of the week and 9th greatest Yankee of all time). Texas (kinda) preview coming as well. We already saw a dandy tonight, as Aaron, Kyle, and Mari screwed some stuff up. Good thing Vincent Padilla is so bad.
My eyes are closing as I type this.
Big upzzzzzzz

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