I'm Getting Too Young for This

First things first.

A little ASG recap.
First off, I'm tired of all this crap about the Yankees and Red Sox taking over the All-Star Game because the fans aren't smart enough to make the right choices.

The Yankees had 4 all stars.
Cano, Rivera, Jeter, and Rodriguez. Tell me which one of those wasn't justified. Which one. Tell me. Don't say Bob, you'll be wrong. None of them.
I'm less learned on the Red Sox matter but I believe they had 4.
Papelbon, Loretta, Ortiz, and "I'm way too good for this shit" Ramirez.
Meanwhile, the Mets have 6!
I'm so sick and tired of hearing that the Yankees receive all the fan bias. EVERYONE HATES THE YANKEES! Hasn't anyone been paying attention! We get booed wherever we go. Moose wasn't even an all-star. He should have been. And here the Mets, everyone's darling, with they're clearly lame up and coming 3B leading the way. "Wait a minute, this isn't pastel!" Six.
Martinez, Glavine, (didn't deserve it, look at his June and July ERA people), Reyes (shouldn't be a starter), Wright, Beltran, and of all things, Paul Fucking Lo Duca. It's a circus show. The Yankees are a good team, they deserved 4, the Mets are a good team, and they got 4 starters!

Screw the establishment, the goddamn Yankees never manage to win (except championships). they booed Derek Jeter! Why? I don't understand. He hasn't done anything wrong! And somehow, the lovable loser Red Sox who aren't losers anymore get all the fanfare. David Ortiz is on more steroids than a fucking bodybuilder. And he just grins real wide and the crowd eats him up. What a disgrace. Whatever. It's not worth it to fight.

Recap:
AL vs. NL

AL 3 - NL 2

Starting Pitchers:
AL: Kenny Rogers (11-3, 3.85)
NL: Brad Penny (throwing 99 mph) (10-2, 2.91)
Good Stuff:
Brad Penny was lethal, striking out the side in the 1st before giving a gopher ball up to Bad Vlad and his 4 foot strike zone. (Oh what a large strike zone he has, I'm Karl Ravech, I'm gonna talk about it some more and then pick the Blue Jays to win the East. Idiot.)
David Wright sent one careening down the left field line. Interview with his father was priceless, as he describes how D-Wright 'once got in a food fight'. Apparently, Wright's favorite show is 24, because it keeps you on the edge of your seat. Good to know David.
Carlos Beltran manafactured the go ahead run. Good for him. I like how Phil Garner couldn't remember his name (he calls him boy) even though he coached him 2 years ago.
Vernon Wells has a cannon. Guns down Fonzi. Wow what a 5-tool player he is. I'm the 1st person to say that right?
Jose Lopez scoring. I like him.
Freddy, "it's fucking pittsburgh i'll do what i feel like" Sanchez knocking Wright out of the way to catch a ball.
Michael Young's 2 run triple off one the most overrated closers in baseball leads to even more remarks about how underrated he is. No but honestly he's a really good player. He's playing out of position and he's still an All Star. Kinda like... no I won't even say it. No one would listen.
Jeter looks silly, A-Rod taps softly out a couple times.
Mo shuts the door.
The fact that Krukky was this close to being redeemed, but no.
Bud Selig glancing at his piece of paper to find out Young's name. Good stuff. You hooligan.

Final Thoughts:
It was an entertaining game. Can't ask for much more than a go ahead hit when you're down to your last strike. It's never been done before. So, in a way, the '06 ASG will probably be remembered. That's good.
It was dominated by pitching just like everyone said it would be, and it amused me that Trevor "hey the NL is actually good we're tired of this crap" Hoffman blew it. Hey, it just means home field for the Yankees, so why wouldn't I be happy? I also gained some respect for Ozzie for not going with Papelbon or the 300 million dollar man, Ryan, Rivera did earn this opportunity, and it's good to see him lock it down. Fun times, and all at a brisk pace. The Clemente ceremony was especially good. I actually never knew he was that talented. Huh. Seems like a great player and a great guy, good for the game. Doesn't get any better than that.

It seems we've gotten to the annual point where all the analysts and all of the country count out the Yankees. Fun. Honestly, it's just fuel for the fire, let them say what they want to, the Yankees are winning this division. Everyone questions their pitching. Look at the Sox. Look at the Mets! An injured Pedro, a declining Glavine, Trax, and this Cuban fellow. That's not a pitching staff. Pelf isn't ready. We are making the playoffs folks, it's just monstrously irritating that you manage to pick some fucking team like the Tigers over us every year. Yea, people think I'm an idiot for saying it. THEY'RE THE TIGERS. I personally saw the Indians coming out of this division, playing the role of Detroit. But one of these days, the Tigers are gonna wake up and realize who they are. And from there, it's nowhere but down. Even with all the injuries we've had to suffer through, the Yankees are still an immensely talented team, and they are most certainly not going anywhere. Sorry.

The AL dominance is for real. But it's not like a freak of nature thing. Every dog has it's day in baseball. It's an integral part of what keeps the game appealing. The AL has better pitching, better hitting, and better fielding, plus 4-5 elite teams. The Mets, meanwhile, have to compete with the likes of the suddenly mediocre Cardinals and the upstart Dodgers, who are practically made of rookies. It's such a wide margin of difference that I believe that if the Mets were playing in the AL, even in the West, the weakest division, right now they would be a 44 or 45 win team. They're not that good. You hear Schuyla prattle on about stats that take into account certain things like park factor and that ERA where you compare it to the rest of the league's that year. Well how about a stat that takes into account how badly the NL sucks? Just a thought.

Why did Nomar not play? Jeez Phil, he's the leading vote-getter, get him some action. It's a shame. Druw and Rolen were 2 other significant players who did not get on the field for the NL
For the AL, I believe it was Ozzie's own, A.J., who didn't get to play. Was there anything more priceless than during starting lineups when Pierzinski was expecting to get booed, and when it wasn't too terrible, he turned to Konerko and said, 'ha that wasn't that bad', right into the mike? Magglio Ordonez is one ugly man.

I really like Ryan Howard. Doesn't everyone?

Perennial O.K. player Aubrey Huff is heading to the Stros for a bunch of prospects. Ummm, does Houston really think it's gonna make a playoff push? Really now.

I don't like the Mets. Here's to an epic collapse due to poor pitching.
Cheers!

A Spite Posting

So, apart from being called useless these days, my main activities have been lounging, a variety of, as schuyla would call them, un-american sports, and a good deal of sleep.

Now, here at crosstown, both of us skipped out on ASG coverage, either of the selection day or gameday variety.

There has been a significant lull in the posting schedule for myself. no matter how many times they say it, i never seem to get used to the idea that when summer starts, the baseball season kicks into gear. it seems so wrong.

but, i suppose duties are duties.
here, i'll be outlining what you'll be seeing my from my side of the crosstown rivals blog this summer.

1. no previews.
2. recaps. of every yankees game.
3. an editorial every once in a while.
4. some knicks and giants coverage on a subliminal level.
5. series', such as the rarely updated written top ten yankees of all time, # 8 is next, whitey ford. the only pitcher on the list. stay tuned.
6. smack talk. what? schuyla' sucks. so do the mets.
7. my thoughts and opinions on news from around the league.
8. lots of ranting

expect something from schuyla' along similar lines, but you never know.

David Wright is a lot of things

Just a little update on the status of this blog, since I haven't touched it in a while and my excessively useless co-blogger apparently is allergic to writing for it.

I will resume a daily posting schedule complete with series previews and other fun stuff beginning Monday the 17th. I might work on something before then, but I think I'll be happy enough reading about Captain Red Ass in this week's SI.

And just on another note, does David Wright get a kick out of starting rumors that he's a homosexual?

From Sunday's New York Post Q/A with Steve Serby (you can read the whole article here:

Q: Do you think you'll get married while you're playing?
A: Right now, as cheesy, as corny as it sounds, this is my love. My passion is playing baseball. I have a commitment to this game, and I just couldn't see it happening.

Q: What do you think of those Mrs. Wright T-shirts?
A: (Smiles). I bought my mother one last year, so I guess that's the true meaning of Mrs. Wright for now.

Q: Describe your ideal mate.
A: Athletic. Has to be able to laugh. Beautiful eyes. Intelligent.

Q: Ever think what it would be like going on a double-date with Jeter?
A: (Laughs). I'd love to tag along with Jete for a while and ride his coattails. Have him help me out a bit.

Q: How did you become friendly with Michael Strahan?
A: We did a radio show together in the city and I'm a big Giant fan. I go to as many games as I can."

David, you claim now to be friends with Strahan and you want to go out on a date with Derek Jeter? You adore your mother?
Your ideal mate has to be first and foremost athletic? And you love baseball?

I bet he really does get a kick out of starting these rumors, unlike the Pizza Man who figured he could dye his hair blonde and everyone would think of it as masculine.



Note the most effeminate baseball player photo in history on your right.

I'll see you back here sooner rather than later.

Taking Care of Business

Well, kids. I told you I'd be back after a two-game winning streak, and apparently the Mets really want to hear what I have to say despite calling it a night after an inning of work against Kip Wells. Me, I worked eight hours yesterday bouncing back from an easy fourth. And I tuned into the game at about the third inning. So it's safe to say I missed everything.
First of all, I'd like to extend halfhearted apologies to any readers who are offended by comparatively minor language to what I scream at the TV. If you don't like it, don't read it. I have my second amendment rights to defend my first amendment rights. Yee-Haw.
Nextly, I'd like to congratulate Ralph Kiner on mastering the ability to sound absolutely drunk despite consuming what I imagine to be very little alcohol. Despite that, though, he doesn't lord his hitting supremacy over us like I feel Ron Darling does. He seems to remind us frequently that, indeed, he did go to Yale. And he's used a bunch of long words lately.
And also-- Pedro's on the DL. I figured it would happen.
So let's win one against the pirates, beat the D-Train and then grab a nugget of goodness for the pelf man.

worse.

it's getting worse.

much worse.

i'm not touching this blog until the Mets win two in a row.

good day.

The False Hero

I watched ESPN's worthwhile show The Sports Reporters today while mourning the fact that the Devils resigned Patrik Elias and he wouldn't be going to my beloved Rangers. And today's panel consisted of the solid Bob Ryan, the littleknown Ian O'Connor and the most annoying man on the earth, Dan LeBatard. I can't stand him. He can't go a single half-hour without mentioning T.O. or that he, like Ricky Ledee, is hispanic with a French-sounding name.
Today, though, LeBatard made a nice point about Terrell Owens, noting that he received far more fanfare for his contractual greed than two other Philadelphia athletes received for their stranger actions. He talked about Phillies P Brett Myers, who allegedly punched his wife outside of Fenway Park and P Ugueth Urbina who is still sitting in a Venezuelan jail cell after allegedly attempting to set fire to his employees, who also claimed he tried to slice them with machetes. Interesting enough, I thought.
LeBatard also made another point that I knew as relevant about a false hero.
With Baseball Prospectus as my guide, I took a look at WARPs (Wins Above Replacement Level) for some players LeBatard got me thinking about. Click here for a more detailed explanation of WARP.
WARP is a counting statistic, meaning that the career WARP of a player like Jose Reyes (11.8), whose big league career is relatively young, will still be less than that of one of the worst position players in history (Neifi Perez, 27.2).
So here are my thoughts, taking the half-finished season of 2006 into account as well.

Player A: 12 seasons, 63.7 WARP
Player B: 13 seasons, 100.9 WARP
Player C: 15 seasons, 92.1 WARP
Player D: 11 seasons, 55.0 WARP
Player E: 10 seasons, 52.5 WARP
Player F: 14 seasons, 84.8 WARP
Player G: 15 seasons, 92.9 WARP
Player H: 12 seasons, 41.4 WARP

So what does this all mean exactly? Am I trying to play some sort of cruel trick on you with vile guessing games? No, not exactly.

I am using this as a method of writing off some crappy players. Or good players who are passed off as great by some biased media hype machine. If you hadn't guessed, player A, the false hero, is Derek Jeter. Player B, obviously, is the one who somehow has earned himself resounding boos at Yankee Stadium. He goes by A-Rod. At this point in time, I'd like to recall a conversation I had with my co-blogger.

dyslexia: what part of derek jeter is the best shortstop in baseball is so hard to understand
schuyla: uh no. miguel tejada... there are more.
trackcentipede65: uh no.
schuyla: vorp, my boy.
dyslexia: championships my boy,
dyslexia: championships!
dyslexia: how many gold gloves does tejada have?
dyslexia: how many rings?
dyslexia: how many teams has he captained?

The conversation will go on from there, with him reeling off meaningless "clutch" moments, dissing Miguel Tejada further, saying that Julio Franco was a first baseman his entire career, and just dismissing Baseball Prospectus on the whole.

dyslexia: dj is a 20/85 guy
dyslexia: but hes a shortstop
dyslexia: u dont need that much production

Once again, I hate to break the truth to you. I applaud your effort, but Derek Jeter has hit 20 homers 3 times in his 11 seasons. He has driven in 85 runs only once. And he did them together only once, in that 1999 season.

dyslexia: is miguel tejada a hof?
schuyla: hmmm
dyslexia: no hes not
dyslexia: derek jeter is

Does the hall of fame really matter? And moreover, what makes Jeter more likely to be in the Hall than Tejada who's only 11.2 wins short of Jeter's production with two fewer seasons under his belt? Maybe it's the rings, or whatever bullshit. I forgot to tell you: Miguel Tejada is player E. Then my associate goes on to discuss the merits of gold glove winners.

Schuyla: dj didn't deserve the gold gloves
Schuyla: they just give them to whoever
Schuyla: like bobby abreu won one
Schuyla: and he's not even like in the top 5 best right fielders in baseball
Dyslexia: and they dont give it to whoever
Dyslexia: they give it to whos established themselves as a premier defensive player

Okay. This one doesn't even make any sense to me. Derek Jeter won two gold gloves, in both 2004 and 2005. These, according to BP's FRAA (Fielding Runs Above Average) were Jeter's two best years in the field (-3, 13) after he had cost his team 127(!) runs in the field over his career beforehand compared to an average shortstop. So first of all, dyslexia is just wrong about Jeter establishing himself as a premier defensive player. Secondly, the Yankees obviously made a mistake by keeping Jeter at SS instead of replacing him with an above-average defensive shortstop on their roster, one like, say Alex Rodriguez? He had benefited the Mariners and Angels with a FRAA of 63 over his career before moving to short for the Yanks.
So maybe Jeter's rather impressive FRAA of 13 did merit him a Gold Glove in 2005, as it was bested only by the outstanding glovework of Minnesota's Jason Bartlett in 2005. But, what does it really mean in the end?

What is all the Jeter fanfare about? Player C is a far less adored middle infielder who is otherwise known as Jeff Kent. If I asked Dyslexia, he'd probably say Kent wasn't hall of fame material when everyone knows that he holds the record for homers by a second baseman. Player D is an ex-shortstop, Nomar Garciaparra, who has experienced excruciating injury problems and yet is only 8.7 wins short of Jeter in one less season? And to think Nomar has accumulated fewer than 5,000 PA to Jeter's 7,000+! It makes nary an ounce of sense that Jeter will go down in history as a much better player than Garciaparra or Tejada, two players who have been far more successful than Jeter in shorter careers.

Player F is a player who I was just thinking about and my associate would probably say is not a Hall of Famer, save for his likely ascent to the 500-HR plateau. He's Manny being Manny, and in two more seasons than Jeter, he's been worth 21 more wins. That's something to think about when Manny and A-Rod have their contracts billed as some of the most exorbitant in professional sports. Jeter receives $189 MM over 10 years to produce far less than both of them. They get paid slightly more, but even by overpaying standards, Jeter's contract is glaringly worse.

Player G is a guy who starred for the Mets, and, according to the cold, hard numbers, was better than Derek Jeter. His name is Mike Piazza and he produced 92.9 wins over his career. This is far more than Jeter, and he did so in exactly the same number of plate appearances as the Yankee as of yesterday (7137). If he didn't have the record for HR by a catcher, my associate would probably claim he doesn't deserve that hallowed Hall either.

So what are Derek Jeter's credentials for admission? Well, he was a leader on those teams that won four championships. Then again, so were guys like Paul O'Neill and bible-thumpin' Chad Curtis, neither of whom are even close to great players. Jeter has a pretty good shot at reaching 3,000 hits as he reached 2,000 earlier this year in his age 32 season. Rodriguez is 19 hits away from that mark, in this, his age 30 season. But A-Rod's a better player than Jeter. That's already been established.

So let's take a less lofty target. Todd Zeile went on his chase for 2000 hits in that immortal 2004 Mets season. If Jeter retired today, he'd be a slightly more valuable player than Todd Zeile (WARP of 54.2), though it's safe to say that Jeter' s probably going to play for a while longer.

3,000 hits doesn't mean all that much though, considering a player who played 25 seasons as a starter (with the way medicine's going, it could happen) at 600 AB/season would need a mere 120 hits each year to reach the plateau. 120/600? You guessed it. The Mendoza line of a .200 career average. While no player has ever had that type of longevity, three thousand hits isn't all that impressive when you consider that it requires solely the ability to stay healthy, which Jeter has done, and the ability to hit a lot of singles, once again a Jeter hallmark. He's a career .461 slugger, a strong total from a shortstop, but still far short of career totals of guys like Garciapara, Rodriguez and Tejada. Of his 1,936 hits going into the season, 1,412 of them were singles. That would rank him 23rd in hits among active players, but 13th in singles. Call me a new age power man, but Jeter's a singles guy.

He's a career .314 hitter, but that number is far less impressive when you consider that Jeter has only recently learned how to take a walk, epitomized by his .386 career OBP.

So what more is there to say about Derek Jeter? He's a very good player, who led his team to four championships in his first five years. He's captained teams to division titles for a while now. He's managed to be healthy and consistent throughout his career. He gets a lot of hits. He's a very poor defensive shortstop who makes flashy plays but would be extraneous for other shortstops given his limited range and arm. His defense has cost his team 117 runs in the field. His power is nice, but in an era of offensive shortstops, it's certainly not the cream of the crop. And while he ages and his athleticism deteriorates, Jeter will be allowed to become even more of a wreck in the field at shortstop, as the Yankees won't damage the captain's pride by moving him elsewhere, even if they have one or more better defensive shortstops on the roster.

And part of me knows why. Jeter is a marketing gimmick, with his good looks and hustle. Jeter sells tons of stuff at Yankee Stadium, more so than say Cristian Guzman might. Jeter's production would also be pretty weak if he were moved to the outfield or third base, like was earlier suggested. Having to put his hitting for average skills up against Ichiro and his hitting for power skills up against Soriano and Beltran might not look so good.

LeBatard's fellow guest Bob Ryan made an incorrect point. He said that the difference between Player A and Player B is equal to the difference between Player A and Player H. The difference between the WARPs of Jeter and A-Rod is 37.2 in Rodriguez' favor. The difference between the WARPs of Jeter and Player H is 22.3 in Jeter's favor. Ryan actually had the wrong idea.

A-Rod is nearly two times better than Jeter as Jeter is better than Player H.

Player H is Kansas City Royals 2B Mark Grudzielanek.

Regarding today's win...

The Mets were awesome today. I originally feared another loss, due to the slightly above replacement level production of Julio Franco, Ramon Castro and Paul Lo Duca and below replacement level production of Chris Woodward in the lineup, while facing the resurgent Big Eunuch.
Instead, things turned out pleasantly. It was apparent from the get-go, as the patented 2006 Mets production took hold in the first inning. Reyes got on with something that wasn't really a hit, followed by good, solid contact from Lo Duca and the big RBI hit from the big boys.
David Wright gapped the two-run double, and from there everything went the Mets' way. Trachsel pitched well enough and worked his way out of a few jams, while the bulk of the lineup was contributing, despite the absences of Floyd, Valentin and Delgado and the presence of an overrated and powerless hitter at DH.
It was the first in the Mets' last five games, after a crushing sweep from the Red Sox.
And after it, though, I didn't feel so bad. I figured that it was going to happen eventually, despite the success of the 2006 Mets.
And there were also World Cup games on TV. And the NBA draft. And free agency starting up in the NBA and NHL.
So, now's a good time for the Mets to get hot again. Especially with the young Marlins hot on their trail at 11 games behind.
Seriously, though, Willie needs to learn that the Duck is not Mike Piazza. He's not Javy Lopez. Hell, he's hardly even former Met utilityman Luis Lopez. Despite his struggles against lefties, it would make a lot more sense to DH Cliff Floyd or even Jose Valentin. The move paid off today but it didn't really serve much purpose against the Sawx.
Julio Franco? I know you think, just because you should be in a nursing home, that you can do everything, but don't try to become the closer by screwing Wagner over.
He had to field that bad throw because if the Yankees somehow turned it into a rally, the WFAN callers would be up in arms about what a bum he was.
Julio's fault.
On another note, did anyone boo when Derek Jeter grounded into that double play today? Of course not.
Because he's "clutch".

Tomorrow: Sunday night is Soler Night! Righties drink free!

let's go mets.

Why I hate Pedro Martinez

It might surprise you to hear this, granted the quick words I penned before Wednesday night's game.

And while that's all true, there's another side of the coin.

Pedro has problems. I went to his last start against the Reds and I saw him throw a bunch last year, including a masterpiece at Shea against the Yankees, so conveniently wrecked by my good friends Mr. Koo, Roberto "I can pitch 20 days in a row, put me in Coach!" Hernandez and Mike "Crossbow" DeJean.
Doug Mientkiewicz, Eric Valent and Miguel Cairo started for the Mets on this day.
John Flaherty, Tony Womack and Rey Sanchez graced the Yanks' starting lineup. Tino Martinez and Ruben Sierra pinch-hit.

I saw him pitch in that "easy day at the office" game against the Braves, where he looked dominant despite having no velocity.
Mike Cameron homered and the Mets also had a doubles parade.

But recently, Pedro just hasn't been Pedro anymore. And I know so many people are saying this, with myself probably the least informed among them, but please. This man is an injured wreck.

There's the nagging toe; there's the hip he hurt while slipping and falling in Miami. Maybe we should sign him to a 5 year, $50 million extension after he gets a hip replacement, like the Knicks did with Larry Brown. And of course Pedro always has other ailments as well, including that always troublesome shoulder.

Will Carroll of the outstanding Under the Knife column at Baseball Prospectus wrote: "There hasn’t been much discussion of Pedro Martinez and his problematic toe since the World Baseball Classic went into the history books. Martinez has been good--better than his record shows--despite the toe and a cascading hip problem. Martinez has been working with bullpen coach Guy Conti on changes to his delivery, trying to both take stress off the right (push) hip and make sure that he’s not adding stress to his shoulder." (UTK: 6/20, subscription required) And so that might do the trick.

Recently Pedro has shown a deficiency in control as well, as his breaking balls fall off the plate, his fastballs tend to sail on him and the changeups which were so effective for him earlier this year and throughout his entire career have either been hit when he misses in the strike zone or taken as balls when he misses outside of the strike zone.

A man who I have no respect for probably snickered in the skyboxes today watching Pedro pitch. He decided that Curt Schilling was a better fit than Pedro, despite him being older than Petey, in far poorer shape and obviously a worse pitcher. He supplanted the hardly dominant Casey Fossum with Schilling and then executed his plan to put his own stamp on the team, ridding Boston of Derek Lowe and Pedro. His name? Theo Epstein. Their replacements? David Wells and Matt Clement, neither of whom are in the Red Sox' rotation at present.

I totally side with Pedro on him resenting Epstein for picking Schilling as the pitching face of the franchise. Who knows Epstein's reasoning? He gave Schilling the big contract extension. Maybe they were doing it because they thought Pedro was an injury risk. Maybe they thought a white ace would go over better in a city with Boston's ethnic makeup. A fat white man who plays online video games. That's what they wanted. And that's what they got. Maybe there's no racial angle to this at all.

But the Red Sox saw their "business decision" pay off tonight, as Pedro choked in the clutch, just looking off on the mound, as well as in the field where he turned a surefire double play ball into a single force out. And that would have been enough, were it not for Firstings' issues in the field.

I wanted a sweep. I wanted to cut and run. I wanted to salvage the reputation of the National League in interleague play. Instead, the best the Mets will do is avoiding a sweep. And that's not a given, with Red Sox ace Schilling twirling his craft tonight.

My thought would be to sideline Pedro until the All-Star Break right now. The Mets have a massive lead in the division. There's no need at all to make him keep pitching through the pain, especially when he manages a mere three-inning effort, potentially taxing the bullpen if not for the heroics of Darren Oliver.

Omar, if you read this, that's my idea. Bring up the Water Main(e) or Evan MacLane (not bats in the pelfrey though) and let him take Pedro's spot until the break. Maybe they can also put a little heat on the asses of Trachsel, Soler and El Duque.

It's worth a shot.

ps: for the record, i still love pedro martinez. don't be deceived by the title of this post.

the day of drama.

It's as simple as this.

I love Pedro Martinez.
He's the best.

Cut and Run

Official Memorandum
From: Schuyla' (zookman12@yahoo.com)
To: New York Metropolitans Baseball Club
CC: Everyone
BCC: Jose Reyes, David Wright
Subject: Cut and Run
---------------

It is time, my boys.
It's been a long time coming.
The Mets haven't played the Red Sox (pronounced Sawks) since July 14, 2001. The game, recapped here, was a win for the Mets highlighted by Glendon Rusch's ten strikeouts.
The Mets haven't visited Boston and Fenway Park (pronounced Pahk) since losing two in a three-game set in 2000.
The winning pitchers in those games? Rich Garces, after Benitez blew up, Pat Mahomes, Met legend, and Pedro's big brother Ramon.
Garces is long gone due to a penchant for overeating, Mahomes is twirling his craft for the Long Island Ducks and Ramon Martinez is living in retirement after finishing his career up in 2001 with the Pirates.
Who started those games for the Mets?
Immortals Bobby Jones (the caucasian one), Glendon Rusch (again!?) and Mike Hampton.
You know where they are. Rusch is pitching incredibly poorly for the Cubs; Hampton is sitting out the year on the Braves' dime after TJ surgery; and Jones retired in 2002 after two unimpressive seasons with the Padres.
So what does this all mean?
It means how far both squads have come. The Red Sox' sole holdover is catcher Jason Varitek, while the longest-tenured Met is Steve Trachsel, who joined the team in 2002.
The climate has changed, as well. The Mets made the World Series in 2000, but have toiled in the mediocrity of 2001 and 2005 with abysmal seasons in between. The Red Sox captured a World Series and broke the so-called curse, but not until after they had been crushed by the bat of Aaron Boone and the slow hand of Grady Little.
Now, though, the Mets are the best team in the National League, if not in all of baseball. They've great sluggers like Carloses Beltran and Delgado, David Wright. They have back-to-back NL Player of the Week Jose Reyes, aka one of the worst everyday players in the big leagues according to Rob "I'm an idiot and I hate the Mets" Neyer. And then they have the big three two of Glavine and Pedro. And of course, there's Wagner waiting for you at the end game.
So what to do in this three game series, my Metly readers?
Cut and run, that's what.
We won't be seeing these colorful stockings for a long while, at least not until their turn comes up again in interleague play, and that, my friends, allows us to beat them without the fear. It allows Pedro to drill whoever he damn well pleases, like David Ortiz, who famously remarked "Pedro ain't going to no Mets." He can peg Manny Ramirez, who pulled his trade request off the table before his colorful hair and colorful personality could join the Flushing corps. Even though they were his best friend and fellow Dominicanos.
It allows Tom Glavine to change things up (pun entirely intended) and firebomb the Sawx unafraid of them hitting anything he can throw. It's been a while since they've seen him and it will be a while longer.
And it's time for the Mets to pound the Red Sox.
Make up for the humiliation of the National League, the league that plays baseball correctly, the league without those damn Kelly Stinnetts.
It needs to be a sweep.
Even if Alay Soler can't speak English, he best know how to sweep.
Pedro knows sweeps well. As does Tommy Glavine.
Pedro swept the Cards in the 2004 World Series. Glavine was swept by the Chad Curtises in 1999.
And the Sawx are in the middle of the Mets' master plans.
Because their time has come.
And, readers, don't even get me started about the Yankees.
Did you hear the newest Yankee joke?
What happened when Bob Cano strained his left hamstring and got put on the DL?
Miguel Cairo found a starting job and Nick Green was called up.

On a more serious note, an infamous punching bag of mine, Peter Gammons, was diagnosed with a brain aneurysm today. I am unaware of the severity of the condition, according to a neurosurgeon I know (my father), it seems as though Gammons is fortunate that he was able to be rushed to a Boston hospital in time for emergency surgery. Sources tell Crosstown Rivals that Gammons is expected to be in intensive care for approximately two weeks. No word on when he'll return to writing or to ESPN. As usual, our thoughts and prayers are with Mr. Gammons and his family.

While not nearly as serious, the upcoming Mets-Sawx series is all about making a statement. And the statement is that the Mets are ready and willing to cut and run.